I am drinking my own Kool-aid. While sitting on the sofa my Kitty swiftly and silently planted herself within arms reach; a sure sign that she wants some loving'. Upon realizing she was there, even though I didn't want to become involved in a furry-purry-festival, I recalled writing about being an affectionate Momma the day before. So, I held myself accountable and began a fur-affair. Uh oh! If I write it it comes true. I am holding myself to a higher standard. If I say I am going to do it in a blog post, it gets done. I am becoming the personality I created online.
There was a time not so long ago, I was filled with big dreams and they tumbled out of an even bigger mouth. But they just fell to the floor and lay there like dead leaves only to blown away by the hot air my big mouth kept huffing. With the fickle nature of any artist, I would start a project and then loose interest. But writing it down really does force you to be accountable. People are shocked by the amount I can write and how quickly. Is it all good? I'm no Stephen King, but I manage.
Having a great idea is one thing. Having a great idea actually become something, even if that something isn't very good, is better. Magic says 'You miss 100% of the baskets you don't shoot." Well, 100 is too many percent. I was tired of being unhappy- so I faked it. I pretended to be happy...and now I am. I am really, really happy actually. I feel more like myself than I ever have before. Not everything is perfect but Roddammit, it's a lot better. Learning to love something by working through the hate is the best training for life. Life will always be hard work, even the easy things can be a challenge. I never thought I could actually enjoy working this hard and not getting paid for it. But I also can't believe that I haven't been doing this longer.
My actions have started speaking for me. Even louder than my words if that's conceivable. Accountability and being true to one's word are great new character traits I have cultivated in myself. I am practicing what I preach! And I love everyday of this weird and wacky life I've chosen. The best thing is you can change the things you don't like about yourself, as long as you're able to let that Crazy-lazy-no good-all talk-Biatch-go! And I gave her the not-so-nice exit music and her digital walking papers. Optimism agrees with me, I think I'll have another half full glass of Kool-aid :)
PS: If these blogs actually come true I would like the following: 1. Book deal 2. International comedy tour 3. Secluded country house on a hill near a lake, surrounded by trees; the perfect place for writing 4- 9. Items to be added as BFF, Bro, Momma and Hubby submit their wants.
I love my Puppa-Roo. I mean love love her. Even the days when I don't like her, I still love her. It's easy. She snuggles sweetly and is completely dependent on my whims to survive. Somedays she gets overachieving über-momma, somedays not so much. My Sushi Goose? She's another story. I know she at least likes me-most of the time- despite what BFF says. And that when she wants lovin' she gets it from me; as long as there's a Claritin nearby. It's easy to love a fluffy kitty who wants to purr with me occassionaly. Then there's my Momma; easiest person to love ever. Her sense of humour and unwavering support keeps her in the top 3 of easiest things to love. #4 being ice cream sandwiches and #5 swimming pools. The rest of us seem to make it so hard for each other.
Somedays you hate the people you're supposed love the most. Okay, okay, hate is a strong word. And I don't hate them; I hate animal cruelty, thong undies and smog. I just really, really don't like the way we treat the people we say we love. These are the people who are supposed to know you best and sadly the ones who let us down the hardest. These people know our weaknesses and stories from our past. They know the mistakes we've made. But those same loved ones are the worst people to us, and we are to the worst right back.
For example I am meanest to my Hubby, not often, but he takes the brunt of a bad day or my wrath if I'm hangry. By marrying me he made a decision: I agree to this level of mean and I don't mind dealing with her temperament. But sometimes I'm not easy to love. I get soo snappy until he looses his mind and snaps back, then I cry. But I love him. I love-love him. I laugh harder with him than anyone else. He's one of the funniest people I know and I hang out with a lot of comedians. Sometimes I am hard on my Bro who doesn't always deserve it, but needs to hear it anyways. I get frustrated with my Papa B who knows the only person he can change is himself. I know he knows this, because he taught me. All we can do Papa B is hold out hope that our change inspires change in others.
I wanna love these people everyday, why do I have to fight so hard for it? But that's on me. If I apply the philosophy of my daily practice to loved ones I should be thanking the sun for peeking through, instead of cursing the rain clouds. But it's easier said than done. Each one of these people acts as though there will be more time, time for forgiveness, ease and love but always saving it for later. I'll tell you what there isn't a lot of- time. Instead of fighting so hard we could be spending all this wasted time together. Celebrating how we've all managed to get this far. And for the most part without an epic fail. We are so lucky to get this time to spend together. But we're not going to take advantage of it are we? We're gonna to hide behind our snappy remarks and our old grudges and stubborn personality traits. I know that I can get over my hurt feelings and frustration, but I am scared that by then the cat will be in the cradle with the silver spoon and it will be too late. By all accounts I think it's time I say 'I'm sorry. Things haven't always been easy, and Roddammit, you make me crazy but I love you anyways' was that so hard to say? I want to tell you now, because you deserve to hear it.
Love is an easy thing to give. All you need to love someone is the courage and will to do so. While forgiveness is something those closet to you may have the most trouble asking for. Loved ones be loved, even though I wonder why sometimes we make it so hard. Sigh. Life and love would be so much easier if we had furry tails and our only worry was 'when do we eat?'
It has been so long since I've had a vacation... a really real vacation. I have gone on trips to my parents, day trips down or up to the beach and hung out in Montreal. But I haven't had 2 weeks solid of days and nights off...With no strings attached and a few bonus days with Hubby gone up north. I really woke myself up! And I learned quite a bit.
1. Putting a ribbon on something doesn't make it a gift.
2. No plan-plans are the easiest and most satisfying plans to attend.
3. Anything is appropriate wardrobe if it's THAT hot out.
4. Buns are great if I wanna look like a ballerina without an eating disorder.
5. Lucy positions herself so that as I pet her the fan blows her loose hair back in my face. She's tricky like that.
6. I remembered how to scream. But once you've lost your voice it won't come back if you keep screaming.
7. Not every selfless act is free.
8. Taking a gamble with thirty percent chance of thunderstorms is like betting against the dealer.
9. Kids are cute until they make that face and explode from both ends.
10. Jogging when the humid ex is high is like trying to breath underwater.
11. James Bond is hot. And if Beckham were James Bond there would be way more kicking.
12. Obsession is something most people should keep to themselves. Or limit to 2 hours per visit.
13. Don't start a conversation with the Commissioner unless you're prepared to be thoroughly tongue lashed for your insolence.
14. Cuban food rocks.
15. BFFs exist for all the great-big-fun and fabulous reasons.
16. Peeing in the pool is acceptable if you're laughing that hard.
17. Karaoke is supposed to be songs everyone knows. Singing- scratch that- screaming along is part of the fun.
18. If your Hubby recognizes the smell of your fart, he'll sell you out; just to make friends.
19. White wine can make you fell like falling or like flying depending on the region of the grapes.
20. A drive-in is the perfect place for 2 girls to talk through a movie.
21. Puppa will always wait until you're close enough to benefit from a good shake.
22. Drunk men will try and proposition you because you have a dog. Having a dog means having a place nearby; so they don't have to drive back home to Kitchener.
23. Sometimes the most interesting looking people talk about some lame stuff. (ie: Egg salad or bandanas)
24. I want to ride the boat around the channel past the drive-in. I don't know what it's called or who owns it, or if they even take passengers, but I want to.
25. I forgot how much I loved high kicking.
26. Jilly doesn't stomp at me when she's hungry, she just stares and puppy sighs as though I should just get it, because I am her Momma.
27. Being a single Puppy-Momma isn't hard if you have a part-time nanny.
28. Slumber parties rock.
29. I can sweat while eating brunch, so that when I get up the pool drips down the back of my dress and puddles on to the seat.
30. Caribana is not as loud in a backyard swimming pool.
31. Meat is not my friend. Unless it's still alive, in which case I will pet it and we will become friends.
32. My Hubby isn't happy with only boys around, but the way he smells I don't think girls would be happy around him either.
33. The 4 storey hole in my backyard is a muddy and green pond...which is kinda Zen.
34. There is a family of 3 mini-city bred skunks lurking in my neighbourhood. There is a turf war brewing.
35. The barometer is a tool of torture.
36. Pickle sandwiches don't exist for a reason.
37. You can get 2 weeks out of a pedicure if you walk on sand.
38. The Olympics aren't fun until we get to the medal rounds; just like every other sporting event.
39. Lemon juice is not a hair product, it's an urban wives tale. Just like not being able to swim at Toronto beaches.
40. Roller coasters are a great source of tension. There should be more movies about them, though I imagine they'd be shorts.
41. My Baby Belle sounds better singing happy tunes, and happiest while playing the Disney library.
42. It's easier to encapsulate and optimize your time in the city- the close proximity allows for entertainment leap frogging.
43. Secret codes are hard to explain but helpful to have... Even if you're the only one who knows it.
44. Little Red Riding hood is a very clever little girl. But not every babysitter gets fridge privileges.
45. Music can come from anywhere, but that doesn't make it all good.
46. My arms tan, my chest tans, my stomach burns and my legs get patchy.
47. A facial can take 2 weeks to heal, and even then is still working hard.
48. My Puppa sleeps as close to me as possible, even if there is tonnes of room in bed.
49. Creating a cartoon series is harder than it looks.
50. Spending a rainy day watching an entire season on Netflix is worth the $7 a month.
51. Picking it just makes it worse.
By the time you relax, you're vacation is over. Which is sad- but I gotta say I was missing you. You know, missing this, US<3 and I am glad to have it back, though I do wish I was still floating around a pool or getting macro-dermabrasion at the beach, or bbqing with my Besties in the backyard... But maybe, just maybe, if I work hard and try hard and hope, I can still do it on the weekends... Oh right, weekends are for doing what you want... Silly me. And I will keep doing it, you can bet on that. Welcome back and happy Tuesday of the August long weekend. I am glad to see ya!
As you may know I have been working quite a bit. Taking advantage of time off and trying to fill my weekends with fun and friends. But I got a much 2 week vacation. Hurray! It's not a second too soon either. I am so excited to have 2 weeks of time for me! Here's what I am planning on doing.
1. Sleep. Period. End of sentence. Having to be at work for 7am everyday has me getting up at 4:30am and going to bed at 10pm-or at least trying to depending on how good TV was that night.
2. Eat salad! Having on set food 5 days a week has wreaked havoc on my body. Not to get too detailed, but I could use a good clearing out.
3. Go to the movie theatre and watch a double feature- perhaps even sneaking into the second movie*insert shocked gasp I haven't been to a movie in months. And the summer blockbusters must be reviewed!
4. Did I mention sleep? Cuz I'm gonna.
5. Take the Stinker to the park, give her a good brushing to make her coat shine like silk in the sunlight. And let her sniff until she's decided the world is too big to explore in one day.
6. Have Cuban food. Julie's has the best guacamole in the city, it's right up the block from me and I haven't been in more than a year. Plus maybe a few Mojitos... Yes. I think yes.
7. Visit my Momma and Papa. Last time I was there, I didn't take a breath while speaking to them. It might be nice to actually hear how they are doing. Though they are busy folks so I will take Hubby and the Stinker, and plan hikes and riverside picnics.
8. Go to the beach. And swim hopefully in an erroneously small bathing suit to even out my tan lines.
9. Finish my 2 books I've got on the go. One for pleasure and the other because I will not be beaten by a book, you hear me book? I will not be beaten!
10. Play my Baby Belle. That poor little lady has been missing me and I her. Her strings growing limp. I am pretty sure she's put an ad on craiglist looking for a casual hookup/jam session.
11. Write this series of children's books I have been dancing around for months. You can swear and do pornographic things in kid's books now right? Is that where they're learning it? I think yes.
12. Pedicure + many other assorted spa necessities. I have to be slathered and lathed. Removing multiple layers of sun damaged skin from everywhere. And I mean everywhere. Especially my heels, they look like a crocodile skin socks.
13. Patio brunches! I need at least 2 patio brunches. Brunch is my favourite meal of the day, combining the wholesome foods of breakfast and the boozey sleep in behaviour of lunch:) mmm breakfast caesars.
14. Just an all around relaxation celebration. I want to sit on my tiny balcony and watch the world go by and laugh at the poor Joe's who don't have time off. Laugh and laugh and laugh.
15. I am going to take an allergy pill and pet my Kitty until she's rumbling so loud the couch vibrates. Until the Puppa gets jealous and chases her into the bedroom.
16. I am going to see friends. Tall friends, short friends, even friends with kids! I want to see them all.
So, since I won't have time off again until September, I have to take advantage of the summer now. (Although with global warming the way it is we may never see winter again) I do love the feeling of accomplishment a stay-cation provides. But I am really looking forward to exploring the world a little bit more, and planning a large scale trip. For now though, it's amazing the type of adventure you can have in your own backyard.
Every Monday my co-workers tease me about the amount of stuff I jam into a weekend. Trying to remind me that weekends are for relaxing. And seeing as this was a partially cloudy one and BFF was out of town, I decided to actually rest up. So I watched movies. All sorts of movies. Some I hadn't seen and a couple old favourites. Movies from the 60's, 70's, 80s and 90's. Meryl Streep, Robert DeNiro, Tim Allen, Justin Long, Sigorney Weaver, Jerry Lewis, Christopher Reeves, the Sheriff of Nottingham & Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman. It was my goal to have a quiet weekend. A weekend filled with snuggling. A weekend filled with relaxation and rejuvenation. Full of cuddling the Stinker and falling in love with our favourite actors all over again. To try fitting somewhere on the couch with Hubby and Lucy, all 4 of us in perfect harmony. And watch the magic of the movies.
Now Hubby has never seen the classics. Unlike me growing up in a world where colour didn't exist until grade 5. Classics were all I knew. A woman was a woman in a wonderful gown. A man was a hero saving the day at the last minute. People cried and music swelled and romance was honest. No false pretense. Just you and I in love. Travelling through time to be together. Clandestine train rides and ringing bells. The comedy was physical; the romance: inevitable. The movies are where my life belongs. Watching people struggle with the old questions and inventing new ones, it's only a matter of time until we've solved them, if we work together.
Hubby says the oldies are nothing new. That you know what's happening before it happens. I say it helps us to learn that the struggles we have are nothing other than daily life. That it's okay to struggle. To scramble and scrounge. The peasants have been doing it for generations. Stealing from Peter to pay Paul. Why would the 60's be different? Why would that change in the 80's? If the human condition is just that, the stories are timeless. Its the amount of nudity that's changed not the story. Before when knees were news, they showed'em. And they've been trying to show more ever since. But it is the characters who fight and the stories that stick. Why would the movies change?
Movies in the 70's and 90's trying to prove they are doing something different. Reinventing the wheel? Well, since the wheel was invented people have been trying. Trying to create a new world through movies. Trying to tell a story we've already heard with a new narrator. The movies are a special place. A place where anything can happen... And even though this was suposed to be a relaxing weekend; I found myself, travelling through time, questing to the edges of the universe, celebrating Christmas in New York twice, watching a play from 1912, strolling beside a lake, staying at more than one grand hotel and answering way too many phone calls. The most significant change was the way people talked on the phone. The way they left messages for each other. Pay phones and desk phones, operators making important connections. I do miss that. So I guess it wasn't as relaxing a weekend as I had hoped. But I will always be glad to sit with a bowl of Bits and Bites and have an adventure. Thank you NetFlix:)
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you the incomparable, the delightful, the diligent Melicious Mona!*insert Kermit the frog arm waving scream. Alright, alright that may be a bit of an exaggeration. But I heard through the grapevine there were folks reading this blog to whom I may not have been formally introduced. To them: welcome. To the rest: please, please stay.
This blog has become an infatuation. I write between 250 and 750 words 5 days a week. Most of which are about random events in my life and the nutty day players therein. So, I thought I would do their character breakdowns:
1. Jilly Bean- aka Cutest pup, My Pupparoo, pooh bum stinkeroo. These are all accepted names. Though her response time leaves something to be desired in general. She is stubborn and smarter than she lets on. No matter how often or for how long she is brushed she continues to shed. Her stiff hooked fur crocheting itself into your clothing.
2. Hubby- aka the Commissioner. A quirky handsome dude with a passion for policing the universe. Generous and kind, I love him all days. He is Danny DeVito and Clark Kent, the underdog- but worth the bet. He is getting better with age and time and a little direction.
3. Lucy- aka Sushi-goose. Our bedazzled kitty with the tap shoes. Clicking and stretching. Her days are filled with chasing the sun across the floor and giving herself lengthy tongue baths. BFF claims she is the forgotten baby, but that's how she prefers it. She is a chubby bellied sprite with a tendency to swipe.
4. Momma- a true lady with class and a caring touch. She is the blog's biggest supporter; as proven by her near-daily blog comments. Loved by those who know her and envied by strangers. Her smile is contagious. Her enthusiasm is unending.
5. Papa B- the strong silent grump. A soul leader, goading all to attempt bigger and better things. Pushing himself to change the world. Trying to zero in on the next big thing. A step ahead, but a dollar behind. He alters everything to fit. His clear blue eyes expressing his thoughts; which at times can be horrifying.
6. Bro- a brave life fighter with bigger potential than he credits himself... slowly being convinced otherwise;) very very slowly. His head is above the game, because he likes watching all the action.
7. BFF- the fire to my gasoline. My pretty soul twin who wins every race. Because she is smarter, faster and stronger than everyone else in the whole wide world. Also a high maintenance lady, who will disagree with that statement. But this gift can't be returned, the tags are long gone.
And last but not least; this blog's headliner:
8. Melicious- a strange and clumsy optimist with an IDA (I deserve attention) problem . I mean she blogs 5 days a week for free because she needs the "credit". That's nuts. Interests include the first 7 cast members, her stubborn uke, mojitos, brunch and this blog. Her identity has become tied to this website. Her life is filled with snapshots of the things that people take for granted. She hopes you like it too...
So, that's the main stage 8 for this online variety show. Not everyone plays their instrument well, but together they sound like the high school garage band who's gonna win the 2nd term talent show. Though I am sure there are days they wish they didn't appear as often. And there are many other players with walk on parts, but we'll get to them eventually. I can't tell you how much fun these past 3 months have been. The countless hours I've spent with you, and the support you've been sending my way. I will keep up this break neck speed all the while pretending I am doing it for you. But we all know it's really just my Melicious attempt at creative sanity.
I am a 30+ year old. It took me 3/4 of a year to become alright with that. Getting older and becoming the person I never thought I'd be old enough to be; for example a Mme, changes things. I don't mean that in the dramatic I am getting old way. But at 23 I was convinced that I would never actually be mature. Twenty-three Whoa! was quite frankly a crazy and strange age. I didn't know who I was or who I really wanted to become. The only thing I knew was who I didn't want to be, which didn't help. I knew I didn't want to be alone. And I really didn't want to be scared anymore. I was very nervous. Nervous to have an opinion. Nervous to be myself. To say what I thought, and have an actual full blown personality and all the great and awful things that go along with it. Which brings me to where I am now. Seven years after I was so scared. I am not nearly as scared. But now I have friends who are going through those 23 year old things. And I see their fears, which scares me all over again. But Baby, regardless of the things that scare you, you are who you are... And it would take a lot of time, effort and therapy to change those things.
Dear 23 year old:
My biggest concern; the way you cover yourself up. Painting yourself with thick layers of synthetic skin, protecting you from the world outside. I know you're scared. I can see it in the measured way you talk. The ruler leaning against your phrasing. Taking the wind out of your sails. You deserve more from yourself, and it makes me sad that you don't think so. If you, a beautiful 23 year old don't feel love for yourself at the prime of your life, when you are the most beautiful, natural and lovely creature, what hope is there for the rest of the world? Including the 30+year old woman that I am now. Dear 23 year old, you are so amazing that watching you become a brave and idealistic soul is inspiring the people around you. Please understand that all the best people you know got their hearts broken by people who pretended to love them. That you're not perfect, and nobody expects that from you, except you. You are better than the way people treat you. Your high school friends won't be your only friends forever, and soon you'll get to choose a whole new clique, people who will be your family because they love you, not just because they live in the same school district. But being a grown up will be really hard for the few first years. Kitty says: Hang in there baby.
When I was your age, I was crazy. I couldn't get a grip on the idea of becoming a "member of society". Paying taxes and doing things like cleaning my own apartment. I lived with roommates; which teaches you how to suffer in silence. Grin and bearing dirty dishes and uncleaned washrooms. Girls are not easy to understand at the best of times. Twenty-somethings are even worse. With the climatic apex of living on their own and trying to be grown ups before they really understand who they are...Can I even tell you. I hated myself, I didn't need anybody's help, I covered myself with laquer and expected people to see past it. But you don't need to hide to be seen. You are beautiful and I know you can hear me. Please know when a 30+ says it's going to get easier, that it will. It doesn't stay crazy for much longer. Dear 23, you are young and beautiful, things get better and we will welcome you at our 30+ table because you help us to feel like we're helping:) And Sister Sledge, we are family, because you chose me.
As you have perhaps noticed I have been getting up at 5am everyday this week. Blah. So, I feel like I've been missing my home life. Well I have been missing my Little stinkeroo Tink, Sushi-goose and the Hubby. So, I started leaving notes for them on the counter in my mind. Which I will now transcribe for your reading pleasure.
Monday:
Dearest Tinker,
You are my favourite Puppa. I had to leave very early this morning and I wanted you to know. I love you. I hope you have a great day.
Momma
P.S. If you could please Swiffer that would be great- as most of that hair is yours
Momma,
I miss you and wanna give you kisses. I was seeping all 'da day and didn't have time for swiffering. Also Lucy made some of that mess, so I don't know why I have to clean it all.
Jilly
Tuesday:
Jilly,
I was so happy to find you in bed with me this morning. You're such a snuggler. As for swiffering, you are the bigger sister and it's important to show Lucy how to pitch in. She's never been much of a helper. Maybe you can both do it, together
Xoxo M
Momma,
Lucy bopped my nose and even though she knows she's not supposed to hit- she did it anyways. I think she should have to Swiffer as punishment for hitting. 'Cause that's bad.
Tinker
P.S. You smell nice and I owe you some kisses
Wednesday:
Jill,
Please Swiffer. That's all I want. I took Lucy aside this morning and we talked about this behaviour. She apologized and told me she'll try harder to be nice. She also told me that you said she had to Swiffer and that you were being a bully. That's not the way I taught you to behave. Now I am trusting you 2 to get along when I am not there. So, please just be good.
I love you both,
Momma
Momma,
If Lucy won't Swiffer I am not going to either.
Your loving doghter,
Jill Bean
Mom,
Please stop Jilly from being so bossy. She was barking out the window all day, drooling on your quilt and licking her bum hole. She's trying to get me to clean the whole house, and I am not the dirty one. I don't even go outside or anything. Plus I just gave myself a pretty lengthy bath today. Please ignore me if I'm sneezy, think I am catching Papa's allergies to dander.
I love you more than Jilly does.
Lucy
Momma,
I saw what Lucy wrote and I mean c'mon who you gonna believe? Me or her? I was a good girl all day. Puppa-swear. Lucy just wants to get me in trouble so I have to do all the chores.
She's being so mean. Acting all fancy with her nail jewelry. It's not fair.
The bestest JB
P.S. She says she doesn't even miss you. But I do.
P.P.S I still have kisses for you
Thursday:
Girls,
It is Thursday. I have been asking for you to Swiffer since Monday. I am no longer asking; I am telling. Swiffer today or there will be consequences.
Your little less loving mother.
Momma,
Lucy and I have decided that swiffering is not something we want to do. We thought maybe if we just slept quietly together in the sun spot on the couch that would be alright. Cuz getting along is the most important thing, right?
Love your Fur babies,
Lucy and Jilly
Friday:
Hubby,
Please punish those lazy girls of ours: no treats. They haven't helped me out all week. If you could please Swiffer and clean their rooms (Jilly's crate and Lucy's poo-box) that would be great. I will have to sit those 2 down and give them a piece of my mind.
I love you, and I love them- I just don't like them very much right now.
Wifey
Wifey,
Why didn't you just ask me in the first place? It took me 10 mins and could've saved you the argument. You know those 2 don't have thumbs or cognitive cleaning skills.
You're silly, I love you.
Hubby
P.S. weren't you going to clean Saturday anyway?
Argh! I know, I know it's my fault for asking the wrong family member to take care of that on teensy job. I just thought it would be great to have those 2 laze-abouts finally pitched in. I was thinking though, maybe I should MacGyver 2 sets of pet sized booties made of Swiffer clothes, then all 8 of those tiny feet can do the work. You know what they say, many feet make for less fight. Plus their penmanship is terrible. Thanks for another great week! I'll see you Monday:)
Our veterinarian considers himself an animal-whisperer with magic hands that heal pets and a soothing voice- especially the Yoda, which I only know is Yoda because he told me. I on the other hand am convinced that when I am talking to the Doggie or Kitty something is lost in translation. Both animals stare at me disappointedly; like I phased out in the middle of our conversation and am no longer listening. It seems to me that at this point (4 years of being Jilly's Momma, and 5+ years of being Step-mother to Lucy) I would have become better than I am at understanding them. Our conversations are as follows:
The wake-up call
Jilly:(all four feet shuffle, nails clicking on the floor) whooo...
Melicious:(half-asleep) "Get on this bed."
Jilly:(emphatically, four foot stomp) Whoo...
Melicious:(groveling) "10 more mins."
Jilly: WHOOoooo!
Melicious:(throwing back the warm quilt) "Fine."
I trudge from the bedroom to the kitchen, take her food from the cupboard, dumping a cup into her bowl. Her nails clicker-clack on the floor, happy tap dancing. Stumbling back into bed, she will join me as soon as she's done for:
Under the covers
Jilly:(with a running leap, she launches herself into the bedroom and onto the bed with a jarring thump. Then she investigates the bed she just left to eat) sniff,sniff,sniff. Blow! Sniff,sniff sigh.
Melicious:(lifting up the blankets, trying to get back to sleep) "Under the covers, JillBean."
Jilly:(burrowing into the blankets, spinning and turning and stomping down invisible grass, until she's finally comfortable) Groan sigh. (pressing herself between mine or Hubby's legs- neither one of us sleeping anymore)
As the day goes on, there are many conversations that transpire as follows:
I don't know what you want
Jilly:(starring into my soul, head cocked, silently) whoo?
Melcious: "What's up JillBean?"
Jilly:(still starring, head cocked the other way) Whoo...?
Melicious: "What do you want?"
Jilly:(four foot stomp, with tip-tap nails) whoo...sigh.
Melicious: "I don't know what you want."
Hubby: "She wants a treat. Jilly want a treat?"
Melicious: "Of course she wants a treat. She always wants a treat. She's a dog."
Jilly:(head almost spinning off it's axis) Treat?!?! they said treat. I love treats.
Melicious: "I am not giving you a treat, you're so spoiled. Who's my barrel chested stinker?"
Jilly: (realizing I won't give her a treat; she stalks off in a huff. Settling down in her house and starring up at me with the world's best/worst puppy-dog eyes) Groan.
Melicious: "Okay, come get a treat." (I cave, but to balance it out, I give her a carrot inside a Kong; she'll have to work for that treat)
My puppa is a protective and stubborn girl. She stares out the huge windows. Being on the 4th floor she has a great view of passing animals and a strong opinion about who should and shouldn't be walking along the path between the buildings.
This is my house B*%#h!
Jilly:(starring out the window) rwow....
Melicious:(from the other room) "Jilly..."
Jilly:(ignoring me) Rwowooo roo! Get off my yard!
Melicious:(going into the other room) "JILLY!"
Jilly:(deflated) roooo...
Melicious: "Oh stop; nobody cares what you have to say."
Jilly:(curling back up on the bed) hoof. I just wanted to see if that shitzu wanted to come over and play.
Melicious: "That shitzu is a big B. Let's invite Kingston over (the beagle down the hall)."
Jilly: Snarf. He's no fun. He humps my face.
Melicious:(sitting on the bed and stroking her tummy) "How about we go to the park?"
Jilly: Snort, I thought you'd never ask. I can hump all faces I want at the leash free.
Melicious:(leaning down to raspberry JillBean's belly) "Who's the best bean?"
Jilly:(Head flopped over, upside down) Is it me? I think; yes.
This last conversation is my least favourite. It typically happens at the end of the night, when I am tired or want to go to bed early. Jilly can sense that weakness, and proceeds to drag me all over hell's half acre to find the perfect poo place.
Why won't you go poop?
Melicious:(shaking Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Can't hear you; sniffing
Melicious:(pulling Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Sensory overload, so many other dogs.
Melicious: "Go poos JillBean, you'll feel much better."
Jilly: Hey look, another dog right there. Doesn't he know I own this town? *insert dirt kicking and 1 bark
Melicious:(pulling her back towards the grass) "Focus on going poos. Then we can play with the 'nother dog."
Jilly: I don't care what you say, can't hear you, too many smells.
Melicious: "You'll feel much better if you go poos. Trust me Tinker."
Jilly: (finally finding the ideal spot will circle and scrunch herself in mock poo-position, only to pee again!)
Melicious: "Okay, you've made your choice." (dragging her back towards home)
Jilly:(four foot stop, all heels dug into the ground) wait, wait, I have to go poos.
Melicious: "Then go!"
Jilly: fine. (starring up at me while she does her business, which is awkward for us both)
I lean down and do my duty with her duty and we are on our merry way. So, maybe the conversations aren't as one sided as I thought. She just needs to use her words more. C'mon JillBean, you can do it. If you wanna be the best puppa, you gotta put your bark into it.
As most of you know, I am in love with life. I mean I love it so much, I want to ask life to go steady. I try to love every single day. I love my girlfriends and I love talking and I love listening to myself talk to my girlfriends. I walk around with a bounce in my step, usually singing at the top of my lungs... Here's the crux. People hate seeing happy people... WHOA! What? How does that even make any sense? Why would anybody hate someone who's happy?*insert someone whispering into my ear..Oh- cuz they aren't! Oh no, that's awful.
Okay, so let's get happy. Look out your window- there's a whole big world out there, and you're part of it. Everyday so far the world has been turning, spinning and giving you a chance to be the person you want to be. We are alive- and some of us are in pain, and some of us are lonely and some of us hate our jobs... But baby, keep your chin up! Cuz when you're smiling... The whole world smiles with you. A very good friend of mine, who I love-love, tends to get bogged down with worrying over the details. Worry, worry, worry... and it stresses her out. That stress about tomorrow distracts her from the today she's got. Now, I know life is complicated, and that it's a delicate balancing act. I am not trying to tell you not to worry. Worrying is an important part of life too, it just shouldn't dominate. Look for the sunshine. Look for the deep breaths. Look for the laughter, and the patio afternoons. Take advantage of your life. You have one shot at today, and you can choose how you see it.
Singing, dancing and laughing are staples of my daily life. A day without dancing is a sad day. I dance by myself, I dance without music. It makes me happy. Happiness is hard for a lot of people. Happiness is something you need to work at. It doesn't come naturally to everyone. Do you have someone who helps you to be happy? Do you have a happy song? DO you have have happy feet in uncomfortable shoes? Life happens every single day. And there are good days, sad days, days that change us and simple sunny afternoons. But today should be a day you're happy. Have you laughed for no reason? It will make you feel better, trust me. That's why you're here right?
My day is a wicked one. I plan on playing my uke on my teeny balcony, playing You don't know Jack by myself and getting Jilly's stitches out. Now 2 of those 3 things are good, and 1 is great! I plan on ukeing my nail polish off and then I will practise my moves like Jagger, with a Stinkeroo-Bean who has 10 less teeny knots in her butt. I am happy about that! And why wouldn't I be? Life is today and today is great! I love my Hubby, I love my Bean and Sushi-goose. I love this song! Sooo, I'll ask you, are you happy now? You ought to be, because today's the only day we ever get, tomorrow might be great but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So why not choose to be happy? And maybe next time you see me singing on the sidewalk you'll sing the harmony, and we can flip your frown upside down.
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