Recently, I fell hands first into a new avenue of my acting career. There is no training course, no manual, I am on my own- to make it up as I go. Now, this position is by no means a full time job, but it's paying a bill. To clarify there was never a thought in my mind that show biz was sane or sensical. But this, this is a kicker. My new position in the industry is from the elbow down. Yes, yes, it's true I have become a hand model.
About 3 months ago Hubby and I watched a video about a woman who hasn't done dishes, laundry or any other household chore in over 10 years. She wears gloves all day everyday and has someone pick her up, drop her off and open all doors- to protect her hands. She claims they haven't seen daylight in over 6 years. She makes six figures a year. She acted like a jerk. If you'd asked me then I would've said hand models are almost worse than..well, body models. Who tend to be hungry but fun. So, now that I have a few hand jobs under my belt (pun intended) how do I feel about it? It's weird that people make a living at this. I arrive on set- "I'm the hands." then I am shuffled to a dark corner, given a hand makeover and told to wait. It's flat out weird. 'What do you do for a living?' "Oh me? I hold the spoon in the cereal commercial and caress my smooth hands in the dish soap ad." Typical day at the office.
People on set compliment my hands, then chastise themselves, saying of course she's got nice hands...I mean people, they're hands. All 10 fingers. yippee skippy- let's write her a cheque. They also assume it is my main form of income. As if there are only a talented few who could do such a high stress job. The work I am getting offered in my creative field is for 2 things I didn't have any control over. The talents I am working so very hard to improve? Well, they don't rate. Typical. Someone's grandpa (I'm sure) is fond of saying: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." I say, this job is more like a gift llama, and it spits;) But as long as these hand jobs keep heading my way, I will take their money in my 'beautiful' hand and run. Though it may seem a little premature, I thought I would plan my award speech for most outstandingly accomplished hands: "I want to thank genetics for giving me the talent of having hands. I want to thank myself for never breaking a bone and my.... Oh wait that's it. Who else...? Oh yeah, gloves. That is all."
Lately, I have been working near the airport. The jet stream kicking up wind and blowing it back into my face. The bitter winter bite hurting my cheeks and my feelings. Watching the planes take off, land and circle, as the snow begins to blow I am reminded that I haven't had a vacation in eons. As freelancers Hubby and I are always on call, living shift to shift, answering every call to arms. Okay, let's not get dramatic, but seriously, I found myself getting jealous of the passengers in taxis, knowing their luggage was packed with swim suits and sunscreen. *Foot stomp! The work-a-day Joes all around me taking advantage of their vacation days. My parents spent a week in sunny Costa Rica. Friends of mine are wintering in tinsel trimmed LA. Even folks honeymooning in not so tropical Europe. Purchasing last minute steal of a deals to get out of snowy and wind burnt Dodge. For those of us who can't afford a getaway what can we do? How do you relax when you can't go on vacation? These questions burn more than my frostbitten cheeks.
Rest, relaxation and rejuvenation are essential to living happily. Now, that's not to say that travelling abroad is automatically restful. Most people I know complain the week before vacation that they have so much to do before they leave and then complain again the week they're back, because they have so much work to catch up on. Others say they need a vacation from their vacation. Once you get where you're going it takes 2 days to unwind from the stress of travelling and that doesn't include jet lag. People complain about the cost of travel. Tourist destinations swamped with visitors who wish the place they're visiting was the place they left. The human condition is such that we are never happy. Once you get what you want, you don't want it. Typical malaise.
In the past when travelling for vacation, I've worked hard to relax, release and leave my unwanted baggage at home. This is the most difficult part of vacation. Just relaxing. Knowing that a mojito soaked sunburn isn't in my near future, I will be brave. Friends, bloggers and world travellers alike, harken to this: Take a vacation everyday. Go to your happy place, you might not get as much vitamin D, but your soul will be ready to take the trip. Bring home souvenirs from day dreams to remind yourself that life is good. Easier said than done of course, but what is life without effort? So, as I stare wistfully at the open skies, I remind myself that vacation is a state of mind. And the taxes and fees don't apply.
Okay, okay, so this is gonna sound crazy, but it's a true story. Two Novembers ago I found myself shopping for no reason in a store that was way too expensive. Sometimes the urge to soothe the self-loathing Sundays with retail therapy overtakes and I am powerless against her demands. So, recognizing I wasn't purchasing something of purpose, I was merely filling the gap, I took it down a notch. After perusing the mounted deer head painted white and the ironically scratchy sweaters, I stumbled across a teeny $12 motivational soap dish. Huh, it was the cheapest thing in the whole store so I bought it. Proudly purchasing my soap dish I was happy also extremely happy I had put make-up on and was wearing my vintage glasses since unwittingly, I'd landed smack-bang in hipster haven. Swinging my brown paper bag out of this teeny boutique, I remember forgetting what I'd even bought until I unwrapped it at home. A motivational moment each time I wash my hands. A single solitary action and meditation matched in the single serving size of washing your hands. Didn't seem like anything so special, until I realized it was.
Having a motto, a plan, a strategy, a safe word. Affirming yourself. Every self help Schmoe hosting a weekend seminar is spewing catch phrases to live happily. People are begging to be happy. People are blogging to be happy. There are groups of people who don't know how to be happy. People fighting for the joy they were banking on. Multitudes of folks who don't know how to be themselves and need to be taught by a stranger. When will we understand why these people wanting so badly to be happy can't be? When does sadness become a national health concern? The one thing they've got going for them is they know they can be better, happier and they hope to be saner. Ah, hope, happiness and sanity: the trifecta.
There's a reason that self help is so popular. You are just the right self to help you out. But flip a coin and I agree the mumbo jumbo is no bull. Knowing that each time I wash my hands I affirm myself. I pledge to lead by example. To be brave and true. That's a big assignment. That's a lot to ask of myself but the soap dish commands it. It continues to demand excellence. Every day my soap dish holds me accountable. My superficial purchase that was to be devoid of meaning actually became the mantra behind my initiative to change. Of course there were other factors: thank you Momma, Papa B, Hubby, BFF, Bucy & Bean for all your support and snuggles. But honestly, I think it really was the soap dish:)
It's easier said than done. You know how I know that? I've said a lot, and it never gets done. I am a logical thinker. The straight line, the path of least resistance, the straight and narrow. Growing up I always thought I knew better. Watching the poor decisions of others, I could predict the situation outcome. Not only did I think I knew better than my friends, but I knew better than my Parents and every other adult. Did I actually know better than any of them? Probably not, actually, I know for a fact that I didn't and still don't know best. Because if I did, I would be able to say it and then do it. Plus nobody likes the know it all, just watch any movie set in a classroom, recognize the know-it-all? She doesn't have many allies- unless it's test day.
Over the last year I have come to realize that getting things done is a complex 7 piece puzzle. Now, you may say, Melicious, 7 piece puzzles are for kids. Well, this 7 piece life puzzle is a challenge on the clearest, happiest and most balanced of days and not even attemptable on the dark, hazy lonely afternoons trapped in your own mind. You see these pieces change shape. They never fit together the same way. It's not a puzzle you can memorize. And each Let's Do This! puzzle is the same 7 pieces in a different configuration. There is a pieces for saying you want it done, actually wanting to do it, planning to do it. There's a piece that organizes and one that initiates. And a piece for actually doing it. Oh and the last puzzle piece is the one that keeps you doing it, because nothing gets done and stays done without a bit of tenacity. The important parts of solving a puzzle with ever changing pieces is knowing that it will always be a new experience and new outcome plus discovering new things you didn't know you didn't know. Be warned there is no picture on the front of the life goal puzzle box.
So, may I suggest that all this talk is getting us know-where? See what I did there?*insert coy wink. There are so many things people want and feel they deserve, demanding their ideal outcome but when it comes down to being a wo-man of action, they may fall short. Refusing to see the obstacles standing between an off-handed marathon remark and standing at the finish line puffing with the satisfaction of a job well done. If getting what you wanted was easy we'd have it already. If the universe was just going to take care of us we wouldn't have the drive to change, to improve, to excel. There is nothing shameful in being the know it all, the brown-noser, the tryer or the eager beaver, as long as you know it will take a lot more than you know, to get what you want. It will take all 7 of those puzzle pieces to build the picture you want to be.
Note: Life Puzzle for ages 15+ But everyone should try at least once.
There is nothing new. You know how people say that? It's all just recycled versions of a joke that was already punched, an idea that was already patented. It's all been done before. Which for a creative person hurts my feelings and my chances. How can I break away if there will never be something new ever again.
Often people hear my off hand remarks and ask: what's that from? Offended I would say I just made it up. My interrogator squinting in disbelief, scrolling through their witty bank, searching for inaccuracies. But I'll stick to my creative guns. I would be amiss to say I have no inspiration. That I am museless. Or even uninfluenced by my environment, my interests or tastes. All of which I am and do and are and want to be. Creating something special or even just a hint of it is a daily goal. Something every creative person should strive for. I'm not saying that every night is a night to write a song about or a game changer. But I'm thankful for the nights that are.
So, if everything has been done, what's left to do? The only thing left is for me is to do, is do it. The only way for me to change it is to do it uniquely. Meliciously. Not like Frankie, not like Usher. My Way. The only person who sees the world the way you do is: wait for it: you. And the only person who can do things with that oh so special Meliciousness? Well, that's me. So, I guess that's where we creative folk find ourselves. Does the attempt to be brave and bold make us creative? Not necessarily, but there is the undying notion that everything old can be new again. And I am just the vintage lady to find that tarnished treasure, shine it up real pretty and present it with new life. Oh yeah, and sell it to you at a much higher price, of course.
After taking 2 very long weeks off for this special time of year. I realized there were a few things I learned. So I thought y'all might benefit from learning yourselves.
Things I learned on Winter Holidays:
1. When my parents got a new dog I suffered from a severe case of sibling rivalry.
2. December is the month I decide to ruin myself, then I spend 8 months after that in a remorseful comatose of self loathing and depression.
3. As soon as I do not have to blog I have a bazillion great ideas.
4. Despite my objections- I did in fact want something sparkly for Christmas.
5. Not having an outburst outlet, means I burst out.
6. I miss making up inside jokes.
7. A New Year's resolution may start a few days late cuz you have left overs from Christmas that would be a shame to waste.
8. I am easily convinced that sitting around eating bon-bons is hard work.
9. A box of Ferreros that costs $5.99 seems appropriate to eat in one sitting.
10. Window shopping is recommended while wrapped in winter layers. Otherwise anticipate breaking a pig in a blanket sweat.
11. A musical revolution over 200 years old can still bring me to tears.
12. January is a strange month for weather and behaviour.
13. There should be a special Oscar category for CGI or motion capture actors & tigers
14. Family is a bountiful source for blog fodder.
15. I really like spending time with Jilly. She's truly the bestest tinker.
16. My trio's tradition of doing mini Christmas before we part for the season is a great way to ease into the holiday hubbub and bally-hoo!
17. There's something special about a new snow fall, especially the white fluffy floaty ones.
18. There are worse people I could be than myself.
19. Turkey+time =toots
20. Keeping a New Year's resolution is tough if you don't really want to.
21. Pig is a delicious animal.
22. Being a meat eater is not for me. how can I love one and eat the other?
23. Christmas carols late at night on Christmas Eve in the church I grew up in makes me cry, then laugh until I start crying again.
24. I am lucky to love my family as much as I do.
25. Even though Hubby says he only likes black athletic socks, a new pair of purple argyles really bring out his personality.
26. People should stop bullying Justin Bieber, he's a good boy.
27. Being the loudest person in the room means I should probably try listening.
28. I can still remember all the dirty/made up lyrics for most of my fav childhood Xmas songs.
29. I enjoy being happy and jolly. But other people tend to be annoyed/overwhelmed/intimidated by the level of my enthusiasm.
30. A Christmas threat becomes empty if you beg your Momma for the 90 piece nativity set and ceramic tree.
31. My favourite parts of returning to work after the holidays are the hugs and New Year's well wishes. I would like that type of reception all the live long year.
This is not the entire list, but I worry that too many lists that are too long- can wear out my welcome- and I want to be welcomed until my next holiday:) Here's to you and yours! I hope you had the most magical of Christmas times. I hope that Santa was good to you! And that all your New Year's resolutions are on track. Or at least at the train station.
 Alternate titles include: The Resolutionator, My Body/My Self, Everything Old is New Again, You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello and This is Going to be the BEST Year Ever- the Farmer's Almanac said so. Well, jingle my Xmas bell and ring in the New Year! I've missed all 6 of my loyal readers! And am enjoying my new found popularity in the Russian market. Who knew they were fans of the middle of the road humour I am all about. Hmmm*insert shrug. There have been a multitude of changes over the past 2 weeks... For one you might've noticed the image to the right...Why yes, that is my new logo. Oh really? You think so? I'm a big fan too. I am also planning on a huge website overhaul to celebrate my first blog-iversary- Exciting times for those of us on the ground floor. Many more floors planned, but I am awaiting zoning by-law approval. Now, this Year's resolutions include soon to be classics and renewals of the ever popular standards. For example I am taking level 2 Ukeology with my Fav teacher Judy Marshak, a continuation of last year's initiative. There has been significant progress on my YA novels, so that's coming off the back burner and being put onto the mid-burner. I am back to being a pescetarian, which is a type of omnivore. A fancy way of saying meat makes me sad and sick, plus fish can't cry, they don't have tear ducts. Hubby and I have also started juicing. The amazing flavours of cabbage and kale finally in one condensed murky glass...that was sarcasm, though most of his concoctions have been a dis-licious veggie blast. The whole eating right and exercise thing seemed to be working, so that is to be continued with renewed fervour. Which brings me to what I have been worried about...I owe us a weigh in. Sigh. I'll be honest, all the goodies and boozes and baddies caught up with me this holiday season. For example, Hubby and I finished a box of Ferrero Rochers in a sitting, mind you it was a Sons of Anarchy marathon, so it was over a few hours, but still. Those delicious hazelnut nuggets went down like butter... which I also ate a lot of. Looking at myself in the gym wall mirror this week has given me pause. I am definitely up... but just how much is yet to been seen. So, I guess it's time for us to see what comes of bad decisions.
And now for the moment I've been avoiding: Week 12 measurements
Height still 5'8"
Weight 173.6 (-2.6 lbs)
Bust 40 (-/+)
Natural waist 33.5 (+.5")
Hips 44 (+1")
Arm flex r:13.5 (+.5") l:13.5 (-/+)
Arm rest r: 12.5 (-1") l:12.75 (-.75")
Thigh standing r: 25 (+.25) l:24.5 (-/+)
For a total gain of .5 inches but a loss of 2.6 lbs
That is one strange weigh in. I knew that I would be up, but to also be down... It's a wonder that people don't drive themselves crazy with their numbers. From what I understand the muscle I gained before the holidays helped me to fend off some of the weight, though not the bloating. Oh and as had been the pattern no inches gained or lost on my bust line. Surprise, surprise, surprise. I am definitely happy to be back on track, it's not necessarily a fast track, but now I know what direction I am going. So as soon as that Pot of Gold is gone I will be back to my strict no junk regime...I mean who can resist that chocolatey flavour rainbow?
There are children all over who grow up dreaming. Sometimes they are too shy to talk their peers. Perhaps their mouth works just a hint faster than their brain and they often find themselves chewing foot. Maybe they find their own thoughts more amusing and entertaining than reality and well, just a wonderful place to play. Those starry eyes drifting; lost in a teeny insect world, or on an intergalactic journey. For little bitty me, imagination was my best friend. We would read fairy tales and mystery novels together. Yellow jacketed puzzles that we'd solve just in time to start the next. We'd write dark and brooding poetry, as that was the only kind we knew about until haiku. But movies, they were our home.
There are so many lives I have lived through movies. I have been a warrior, a dancer, an outcast, a vigilante. I have fallen in love with the bad boy, and the good boy who pretends to be the bad boy but gets caught up being bad until his true love for me snaps him out of it. There have been to millions of Christmas', tonnes of Weddings and oh so many narrowly escaped terrors. Movies have always been a special part of the world for me. A chance to jump into someone else's imagination. Maybe even explore uncharted islands, star systems or the future. I've attended Proms where the whole grad class knows the same dance moves. Having wishes come to life. Making children out of wood. Flying elephants. Then just as quickly drafted back onto the front lines. Dark and dirty. With just a hint of hope. The smile of the inn keeper's son, and suddenly the rain doesn't seem so bad. Without warning the band starts warming up and you're dancing. Singing songs that reflect the hopes of the world around you. Being a part of the magic is an important part of me; and my imagination agrees with that.
The movies might not always be good. A lot of the time they will be rotten. You'll forget about them. Perhaps you'll fall asleep before the end. But knowing that eventually, no matter how bad the movies get there will always be somebody who wants to make them great again. There will always be a writer searching for the greatest idea they've ever had. Each character is a chance for the makeup artist to perfect their craft. Then there's the lighting guys, the boom operator, the focus puller. And as we all know there's the cast. There might be a lot of movies out there that will never surprise us. They may never get noticed. They may even let us down. But every once in a while there's a movie that finds our imagination, wakes it up and asks them if they want to come out and play. And this time of year has my imagination pulling all-nighters, but with another trip to the concession stand, I should be able to pack enough high fructose energy to keep my imagination and I going, at least until Boxing Day.
Dear Santa,
How are you? I thought I would ask so that I could prove that I am considerate and should in fact be on the nice list- in case there were concerns. I know I've seen you twice this year, but I didn't have my list with me. Plus, when I saw you up close I grew genuinely worried about your health, specifically your blood sugar level and cholesterol. Have you been pre-screened for diabetes? At your age, (what are you now 70ish?) these are things you should start to worry about. Especially this time of year; it can be stressful and strenuous. I also think that we're ready for a new fashionable update to your look. Of course you're comfortable with the red velvet standard, but we've made many advancements in apparel technology. You know you can you always ask Mrs. Clause, for something other than socks and underwear. Which reminds me, jolly red man, there are a few things I have on my list.
1. Socks and underwear. I have worn through the pairs you gave me last year. There are holes and snags, stains- on the toes of my socks and frayed elastics on the waistbands of my underpants. A couple pairs of wool work socks with red ringers and a 3 pack of panties would be great.
2. Mittens, of the handmade woollen variety. Preferably to match my fav hat. Replacing the sentimental mittens I lost already this year.
3. A new North Face winter coat. The stuffing on my current Charlie Brown jacket is sticking out my armpits, tar-lessly feathering me. I look like an ironically overgrown chicken pretending to be a vintage lady.
4. A juice Tiger- or similar non-fiction device for juicing fruit and veggies. A big star beside this item. Though that is mostly because my Hubby has now convinced himself that he needs one, even though we had an industrial juicer sit on our counter for 3 years and he never used it.
5. Roomba or Air purifier, something to help keep the fur-babies in check. I don't know about Reindeer, but dogs and cats shed like it's their mandate to weave their tiny white hairs into every fibre of every fabric and build fur pucks underneath all of our fur-niture.
6. Is there room in your sac for a vacation? I mean a really, real vacation. One where I don't have to do anything? But absorb some vitamin D, mojitos and get sand in every nook and crevice.
7. A Christmas tree? I think my Momma & Papa B have forgotten that the Christmas Spirit actually lives in the Yuletide boughs. I don't mind decorating it, as Bro will help me. We'll even take it down.
8. A world tour to see my friends far and wide. A party with the Home team advantage for those near. And a country wide sprawl to visit with the Happy Hatress, the East Coast Momma, the Winnipeg Whirlwind and the West Coast Doppleganger.
9. Oh, and a new web host for my Blog. With an easier myPad application. Cuz from what I hear, easier is typically faster and more fun.
Well, Santa I don't want to keep you much longer, just wanted to make sure you got my letter. I know it's short notice, but I put the wrong postal code on my snail mail. BTW- pretty strange how it's HOH OHO, I assume as per canadian postal services those O's are actually Zeros. Here's to a Happy Holiday. Maybe I'll see you at your timeshare in the Canary Islands, as Hubby and I wouldn't mind sharing our vaca with you and the Mrs.
Happy Christmas, Santa, I love you.
Melicious but Nice
P.S. Jilly wants a new garbage ball she finds on the side of the road. And Lucy wants some more time dog-free.
This is that very special time of year when the phrase you hear most is "We should get together!". And in most cases we do. Every weekend and evening jammed packed with travelling, talking, catching up and Christmas carols. Oh and don't forget an extra special visit with Sandy Clause, cuz I didn't write a letter this year, and my list is long. Now, every year is the same thing. Keeping up appearances at a break neck speed for the first 2 weeks, then all of a sudden you realize: You've only been sleeping 4 hours a night and between work and play you're all booked up 'til Xmas Eve and solid through to Boxing Day. Well, Honey, I am here to tell you, we are in the final week. The countdown to downtime has begun. And baby, oh baby, I'm thinking Turkey and Gravy, which is strange, cuz I usually don't eat meat.
This has been a long month for me so far. Filled with parties, pub crawls, public appearances & double shifts. Bringing with it good and bad. Rampant with tiny bad luck spurts. If you've been following along, some of this is old news. I have lost my sentimental mittens; made for me by my Momma's BFF to match my toque and winter coat. I dropped myPhone into the toilet; but it's sorta back to normal. My watch strap snapped. I've bruised my elbow, badly. I have fallen down once or twice. I've strained my muscles by pushing myself at the gym so I can eat whatever I want during this holiday's never ending buffet circuit. But there have also been tiny rays of Daylight saving grace. I've hugged and been hugged by so many people that I love. There has been dancing, oh so much, that the earth moved. Dance parties, dance off, dancing myself right into a neck brace. Oh! and wine. I have had a lot of wine, beer, vodka and it has put me into the Spirit... though it's a good thing that I have spread it out over a month. I haven't gained weight (yet) and am still on target for my New Year's goals. As the next weigh in is Dec 31, apropos of a typical predictable New Year's Resolution. So, I have endured a lot of 2 steps forward, 2 steps back, turn around touch the ground. But treading water while giving and receiving with people you love, ain't too shabby.
This time of year is always a mad dash. There is social pressure to be the best person this very special time of the year. But it's always a scramble to the finish line. Breathe deeply, we're almost there. Online gifts must be ordered by now. Last minute mall sprawls for those special add on items. Stocking stuffings stuffed into sacs and stored safely. Baking and basting almost ready. And soon the holiday parties will slow, and the family dinners will start. So, dear readers as we gain momentum on this holiday juggernaut I remind you that we are 7 days from the big one and then (fingers crossed) we'll be able to settle down for a long winter's nap. Hopefully. I do wish that we could keep Christmas with us all through the year, though I don't think I could afford it- financially, emotionally or sentimentally.
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