Recently, I fell hands first into a new avenue of my acting career. There is no training course, no manual, I am on my own- to make it up as I go. Now, this position is by no means a full time job, but it's paying a bill. To clarify there was never a thought in my mind that show biz was sane or sensical. But this, this is a kicker. My new position in the industry is from the elbow down. Yes, yes, it's true I have become a hand model.
About 3 months ago Hubby and I watched a video about a woman who hasn't done dishes, laundry or any other household chore in over 10 years. She wears gloves all day everyday and has someone pick her up, drop her off and open all doors- to protect her hands. She claims they haven't seen daylight in over 6 years. She makes six figures a year. She acted like a jerk. If you'd asked me then I would've said hand models are almost worse than..well, body models. Who tend to be hungry but fun. So, now that I have a few hand jobs under my belt (pun intended) how do I feel about it? It's weird that people make a living at this. I arrive on set- "I'm the hands." then I am shuffled to a dark corner, given a hand makeover and told to wait. It's flat out weird. 'What do you do for a living?' "Oh me? I hold the spoon in the cereal commercial and caress my smooth hands in the dish soap ad." Typical day at the office.
People on set compliment my hands, then chastise themselves, saying of course she's got nice hands...I mean people, they're hands. All 10 fingers. yippee skippy- let's write her a cheque. They also assume it is my main form of income. As if there are only a talented few who could do such a high stress job. The work I am getting offered in my creative field is for 2 things I didn't have any control over. The talents I am working so very hard to improve? Well, they don't rate. Typical. Someone's grandpa (I'm sure) is fond of saying: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth." I say, this job is more like a gift llama, and it spits;) But as long as these hand jobs keep heading my way, I will take their money in my 'beautiful' hand and run. Though it may seem a little premature, I thought I would plan my award speech for most outstandingly accomplished hands: "I want to thank genetics for giving me the talent of having hands. I want to thank myself for never breaking a bone and my.... Oh wait that's it. Who else...? Oh yeah, gloves. That is all."
Lately, I have been working near the airport. The jet stream kicking up wind and blowing it back into my face. The bitter winter bite hurting my cheeks and my feelings. Watching the planes take off, land and circle, as the snow begins to blow I am reminded that I haven't had a vacation in eons. As freelancers Hubby and I are always on call, living shift to shift, answering every call to arms. Okay, let's not get dramatic, but seriously, I found myself getting jealous of the passengers in taxis, knowing their luggage was packed with swim suits and sunscreen. *Foot stomp! The work-a-day Joes all around me taking advantage of their vacation days. My parents spent a week in sunny Costa Rica. Friends of mine are wintering in tinsel trimmed LA. Even folks honeymooning in not so tropical Europe. Purchasing last minute steal of a deals to get out of snowy and wind burnt Dodge. For those of us who can't afford a getaway what can we do? How do you relax when you can't go on vacation? These questions burn more than my frostbitten cheeks.
Rest, relaxation and rejuvenation are essential to living happily. Now, that's not to say that travelling abroad is automatically restful. Most people I know complain the week before vacation that they have so much to do before they leave and then complain again the week they're back, because they have so much work to catch up on. Others say they need a vacation from their vacation. Once you get where you're going it takes 2 days to unwind from the stress of travelling and that doesn't include jet lag. People complain about the cost of travel. Tourist destinations swamped with visitors who wish the place they're visiting was the place they left. The human condition is such that we are never happy. Once you get what you want, you don't want it. Typical malaise.
In the past when travelling for vacation, I've worked hard to relax, release and leave my unwanted baggage at home. This is the most difficult part of vacation. Just relaxing. Knowing that a mojito soaked sunburn isn't in my near future, I will be brave. Friends, bloggers and world travellers alike, harken to this: Take a vacation everyday. Go to your happy place, you might not get as much vitamin D, but your soul will be ready to take the trip. Bring home souvenirs from day dreams to remind yourself that life is good. Easier said than done of course, but what is life without effort? So, as I stare wistfully at the open skies, I remind myself that vacation is a state of mind. And the taxes and fees don't apply.
Working from home can be dangerous territory. As an unpublished writer it's great-ish. But I am looking for ways to add to a thus far unpaid creative endeavour. We've all seen them, those ads to boost your income. Work from home. Make extra cash. Earn up to $3000 a month. Supplement your income with your computer. What they fail to say is that those plans often take hours a day, with multiple links, hundreds of envelopes, lots of writing and little factual reward. Les Sighes. Building a business from home is tougher than it seems. There are seen and unforeseen pitfalls. Growing up in a household with both parents working from home taught me many lessons about the separation of church and state. So, I thought I would pass some of those tidbits along.
Productivity in an at home business is threatened at every text, update and tweet. Learning to focus on your tasks is a task in itself. The benefits though can out weigh the opposition. By working from home I am able to keep my overhead low. The commute is short but the comforts are a temptation. People assume that since I am home I am free for a visit, which I typically cannot resist. Getting up in the morning I can launch my pyjama clad self directly into funnelling those creative juices. When those juices dry up I am able to switch focus to something mundane- for example laundry- essentially double dipping. Without a clock to punch I often loose track of work hours, which can lead to late nights and sleepy mornings. In loo of a cubicle it's important to create your own in house workspace. A place for work alone. Even if it's a special table splay, it's a centre to focus yourself. Ideally mine would be a vintage roll top writer's desk, though that's still a ways off. Create a task oriented routine, including meal breaks. By chopping your day into bite sized segments I've found an ease for consumption and creation. Working from home means your work may never end. Being your own boss means giving yourself a bonus for good work. Though it also means cracking the motivational whip. Balance is key but that key is big, heavy and easily lost.
The world often treats an at home employee as lessor than a work a day job Joe. No matter who you talk to it's value is difficult to pin down. Being a workaholic I have learned that I am capable of working myself like crazy no matter where I am. The most important part of being your own boss, your own publicist and the company janitor is diligence. Having a stick to it mentality will help you avoid the very obvious distractions. The not so obvious villans will always sneak up on you, but if you're ready to focus on your goals, you can remain on task. Strategizing my non-paying creative jobs and making some extra stay at home money would be great. I just wish I was getting paid for napping, bon bon eating and blogging. Which will come, as long as I can stay on task. Oh yeah, it's just that easy, said The Secret. But for now at least, working from home is where my heart is.
This time of year is full of insipiration. Motivational tips. Cute videos and tales of redeeming glory. So, I thought I would jump on that bandwagon...seems like a safer bet than the Leafs. These inspirations are for all my inspire-ers:)
1. There is a girl I know who volunteers because she wants to. She bakes and posters. She shaves ice and visits with people down on their luck. She is truly a good person. She inspires me to be generous.
2. There is a woman who mediates. She hears what is being said and how people are saying it and listens without judgement. Knowing the value of an opinion she saves it. She inspires me to use my words carefully.
3. There is a friend who challenges me. Who gets my goat. As if knowing when I need her and why, she keeps me on my toes. Reminding me there are so many possible outcomes to any situation. She is a survivalist. She inspires me to think out of the box.
4. There is a mother who loves her baby everyday. She hugs and kisses and sings to her. She protects and cares for the needs of her young. Putting herself second. She inspires me to choose love.
5. There is a person who knows me. I mean really knows me. The good, the bad and the fugly. Who doesn't blame others when problems arise. Who digs deep and struggles through, despite rising odds and inconsideration. She inspires me to stay motivated.
6. There is a dog who chills. She sleeps and snores. Reminding me that a day of rest is something we all need. That sometimes you need to curl up in a blanket and snooze. She inspires me to take it easy.
7. There is a couple who live together, work together and play together. They share opinions and oppose obstacles- together. Standing side by side they are a united front. They inspire me to work on my relationship.
8. There are two cats who stretch, yawn and primp. They taught me that the simple act of purring can be beautiful. They remind me that grooming is a very important tool for world domination. They inspire me to refract my inner beauty outward.
9. There is a certain board game that requires skill and planning. Strategy and secrecy. It takes diplomacy and fortitude. A misstep can make a difference between winning and losing. It inspires me to use my skills wisely.
10. There is a waitress who knows my name, my order and just how I like it. She knows how my day was, by how I walked through the door. She helps me to recognize who I am and how others see me. She inspires me to be a brighter light.
11. There is a gym teacher who makes me sweat. She helps me smile through my practise, even on those days when I feel like I am not progressing. She lets me lean on her those days when I need support. She inspires me to push myself further.
12. There is a small business owner who is constantly reinventing herself and her company. Following trends and predicting the needs of an ever changing customer base. Teaching me about where the current of business can lead, if I just point myself in the right direction. She inspires me to be open minded.
13. There is a baby who is just learning everything. Each day holds new opportunities to grow. She smiles and sighs, and sometimes she cries. Never knowing what can happen next. She inspires me to take each new challenge as it comes.
Oh yeah, I how could I forget: There are a few readers who's dedication inspires me to carry on, even when I feel uninspired to do so. And for all these people I am inspired to be a better person. Who did you inspire today? It's never who you expected. You're probably on this list;) Oh and I hope to inspire people to have fun. As for the tailgate party for this inspiration band wagon, there will be a veggie option:)
After taking 2 very long weeks off for this special time of year. I realized there were a few things I learned. So I thought y'all might benefit from learning yourselves.
Things I learned on Winter Holidays:
1. When my parents got a new dog I suffered from a severe case of sibling rivalry.
2. December is the month I decide to ruin myself, then I spend 8 months after that in a remorseful comatose of self loathing and depression.
3. As soon as I do not have to blog I have a bazillion great ideas.
4. Despite my objections- I did in fact want something sparkly for Christmas.
5. Not having an outburst outlet, means I burst out.
6. I miss making up inside jokes.
7. A New Year's resolution may start a few days late cuz you have left overs from Christmas that would be a shame to waste.
8. I am easily convinced that sitting around eating bon-bons is hard work.
9. A box of Ferreros that costs $5.99 seems appropriate to eat in one sitting.
10. Window shopping is recommended while wrapped in winter layers. Otherwise anticipate breaking a pig in a blanket sweat.
11. A musical revolution over 200 years old can still bring me to tears.
12. January is a strange month for weather and behaviour.
13. There should be a special Oscar category for CGI or motion capture actors & tigers
14. Family is a bountiful source for blog fodder.
15. I really like spending time with Jilly. She's truly the bestest tinker.
16. My trio's tradition of doing mini Christmas before we part for the season is a great way to ease into the holiday hubbub and bally-hoo!
17. There's something special about a new snow fall, especially the white fluffy floaty ones.
18. There are worse people I could be than myself.
19. Turkey+time =toots
20. Keeping a New Year's resolution is tough if you don't really want to.
21. Pig is a delicious animal.
22. Being a meat eater is not for me. how can I love one and eat the other?
23. Christmas carols late at night on Christmas Eve in the church I grew up in makes me cry, then laugh until I start crying again.
24. I am lucky to love my family as much as I do.
25. Even though Hubby says he only likes black athletic socks, a new pair of purple argyles really bring out his personality.
26. People should stop bullying Justin Bieber, he's a good boy.
27. Being the loudest person in the room means I should probably try listening.
28. I can still remember all the dirty/made up lyrics for most of my fav childhood Xmas songs.
29. I enjoy being happy and jolly. But other people tend to be annoyed/overwhelmed/intimidated by the level of my enthusiasm.
30. A Christmas threat becomes empty if you beg your Momma for the 90 piece nativity set and ceramic tree.
31. My favourite parts of returning to work after the holidays are the hugs and New Year's well wishes. I would like that type of reception all the live long year.
This is not the entire list, but I worry that too many lists that are too long- can wear out my welcome- and I want to be welcomed until my next holiday:) Here's to you and yours! I hope you had the most magical of Christmas times. I hope that Santa was good to you! And that all your New Year's resolutions are on track. Or at least at the train station.
Dear Santa,
How are you? I thought I would ask so that I could prove that I am considerate and should in fact be on the nice list- in case there were concerns. I know I've seen you twice this year, but I didn't have my list with me. Plus, when I saw you up close I grew genuinely worried about your health, specifically your blood sugar level and cholesterol. Have you been pre-screened for diabetes? At your age, (what are you now 70ish?) these are things you should start to worry about. Especially this time of year; it can be stressful and strenuous. I also think that we're ready for a new fashionable update to your look. Of course you're comfortable with the red velvet standard, but we've made many advancements in apparel technology. You know you can you always ask Mrs. Clause, for something other than socks and underwear. Which reminds me, jolly red man, there are a few things I have on my list.
1. Socks and underwear. I have worn through the pairs you gave me last year. There are holes and snags, stains- on the toes of my socks and frayed elastics on the waistbands of my underpants. A couple pairs of wool work socks with red ringers and a 3 pack of panties would be great.
2. Mittens, of the handmade woollen variety. Preferably to match my fav hat. Replacing the sentimental mittens I lost already this year.
3. A new North Face winter coat. The stuffing on my current Charlie Brown jacket is sticking out my armpits, tar-lessly feathering me. I look like an ironically overgrown chicken pretending to be a vintage lady.
4. A juice Tiger- or similar non-fiction device for juicing fruit and veggies. A big star beside this item. Though that is mostly because my Hubby has now convinced himself that he needs one, even though we had an industrial juicer sit on our counter for 3 years and he never used it.
5. Roomba or Air purifier, something to help keep the fur-babies in check. I don't know about Reindeer, but dogs and cats shed like it's their mandate to weave their tiny white hairs into every fibre of every fabric and build fur pucks underneath all of our fur-niture.
6. Is there room in your sac for a vacation? I mean a really, real vacation. One where I don't have to do anything? But absorb some vitamin D, mojitos and get sand in every nook and crevice.
7. A Christmas tree? I think my Momma & Papa B have forgotten that the Christmas Spirit actually lives in the Yuletide boughs. I don't mind decorating it, as Bro will help me. We'll even take it down.
8. A world tour to see my friends far and wide. A party with the Home team advantage for those near. And a country wide sprawl to visit with the Happy Hatress, the East Coast Momma, the Winnipeg Whirlwind and the West Coast Doppleganger.
9. Oh, and a new web host for my Blog. With an easier myPad application. Cuz from what I hear, easier is typically faster and more fun.
Well, Santa I don't want to keep you much longer, just wanted to make sure you got my letter. I know it's short notice, but I put the wrong postal code on my snail mail. BTW- pretty strange how it's HOH OHO, I assume as per canadian postal services those O's are actually Zeros. Here's to a Happy Holiday. Maybe I'll see you at your timeshare in the Canary Islands, as Hubby and I wouldn't mind sharing our vaca with you and the Mrs.
Happy Christmas, Santa, I love you.
Melicious but Nice
P.S. Jilly wants a new garbage ball she finds on the side of the road. And Lucy wants some more time dog-free.
This is that very special time of year when the phrase you hear most is "We should get together!". And in most cases we do. Every weekend and evening jammed packed with travelling, talking, catching up and Christmas carols. Oh and don't forget an extra special visit with Sandy Clause, cuz I didn't write a letter this year, and my list is long. Now, every year is the same thing. Keeping up appearances at a break neck speed for the first 2 weeks, then all of a sudden you realize: You've only been sleeping 4 hours a night and between work and play you're all booked up 'til Xmas Eve and solid through to Boxing Day. Well, Honey, I am here to tell you, we are in the final week. The countdown to downtime has begun. And baby, oh baby, I'm thinking Turkey and Gravy, which is strange, cuz I usually don't eat meat.
This has been a long month for me so far. Filled with parties, pub crawls, public appearances & double shifts. Bringing with it good and bad. Rampant with tiny bad luck spurts. If you've been following along, some of this is old news. I have lost my sentimental mittens; made for me by my Momma's BFF to match my toque and winter coat. I dropped myPhone into the toilet; but it's sorta back to normal. My watch strap snapped. I've bruised my elbow, badly. I have fallen down once or twice. I've strained my muscles by pushing myself at the gym so I can eat whatever I want during this holiday's never ending buffet circuit. But there have also been tiny rays of Daylight saving grace. I've hugged and been hugged by so many people that I love. There has been dancing, oh so much, that the earth moved. Dance parties, dance off, dancing myself right into a neck brace. Oh! and wine. I have had a lot of wine, beer, vodka and it has put me into the Spirit... though it's a good thing that I have spread it out over a month. I haven't gained weight (yet) and am still on target for my New Year's goals. As the next weigh in is Dec 31, apropos of a typical predictable New Year's Resolution. So, I have endured a lot of 2 steps forward, 2 steps back, turn around touch the ground. But treading water while giving and receiving with people you love, ain't too shabby.
This time of year is always a mad dash. There is social pressure to be the best person this very special time of the year. But it's always a scramble to the finish line. Breathe deeply, we're almost there. Online gifts must be ordered by now. Last minute mall sprawls for those special add on items. Stocking stuffings stuffed into sacs and stored safely. Baking and basting almost ready. And soon the holiday parties will slow, and the family dinners will start. So, dear readers as we gain momentum on this holiday juggernaut I remind you that we are 7 days from the big one and then (fingers crossed) we'll be able to settle down for a long winter's nap. Hopefully. I do wish that we could keep Christmas with us all through the year, though I don't think I could afford it- financially, emotionally or sentimentally.
Hubby and I are at that delicate age when people start asking you about babies. When are you going to have them? Is it soon? And I want to say yes. I want to say I can't wait. But I'm scared of this world I might be bringing them into. There are tragedies everyday. Big tragic awful things. People hurting people on purpose, for profit, against all laws both natural and criminal. That's nuts. And it breaks my heart. But seriously, as Marvin Gaye said: What's going on?
After voicing these concerns people respond that one little baby could be the person who changes things. The one voice who finally gets through to the rest of the world. This tiny unmade baby might be the answer to all these big and tragic problems...To that I say, anybody could be that baby. To my Momma and Papa I am that baby. But I'm having a tough time changing this big messy world we've become. I don't like this world I live in. I don't like the fact that people hurt children, I don't like the fact that I can't help every child be safe. There is so much that needs to change. Though no matter how much I change, it's still not enough. Why can't I just help everyone, and fix everyone, and hold everyone, so that we all feel better? I mean I don't litter, I recycle, I pick up my dog's poop, I do the little things while fighting the good fight. I try to make everything brighter.
The trouble here? Is that nothing I do makes those big differences. How do put in my order for those? Can we start soon? It would be better for all of us, trust me. And deep down, and in some of us really deep down we all know what's right. When will the little guy be the winner? And I don't mean, poor me, I'm not a winner. I'm not being a Sad sack. I work hard to win the races I run. But why doesn't the big guy share? I mean how much can one person really absorb in their lives. Corner offices, fifteen minutes of fame, square footage, ocean frontage, reality television, a regalia of yachts, making a million dollars a minute. When is more enough? And at what point does more just equal more. If I had that much money; you would have to call me Brewster, cuz the money would go out so fast. But even now, being a middle class canadian artist couple, I wouldn't mind giving up a little piece of my world if that meant that others are going to be safe and healthy.
The sad part is that all of these Super intentions come at a difficult time. A time that may be the worst in history and we all hope things will never surpass this monument, but as long as there is darkness in the world, and parties fighting for evil. Our world will never get ugly enough for them. As for where we are now, there is always someone hurting in this big wide world. It may not be me getting hurt, but that doesn't mean I am unaffected. If I can't change it when I am grown up, how can I ever expect one tiny baby to change it. Or Oh wait, I am supposed to wait until my baby is my age now, and by then because of how I raised them they will be able to make a difference? That isn't a likely outcome. If things are this bad now, in 30+ years where will we be? Things should be fixed before he gets here, so life can be what it's supposed to be for everyone. A world I would be happy to bring a baby into. Kind and bright, safe and sound. If I don't feel safe myself, why would I want to give this mad world to anyone. The rule is- don't do to someone else what you don't want done to you- or something like that. And I don't want this to be a world where they could be shot at school, or the movies, or the mall. How could I do that to them?
The Starving Artist will appear tomorrow.
A few blogs ago I initiated a challenge. My goal was to focus and narrow in on one of my passing fancies. Writing. Now, you may say, Melicious you write everyday. Aw, you noticed? But I don't write with a goal in mind. I have a tendency to vary my interests. Which is great for those Squirrel! moments, when I can't remember what I wanted to do, I just look around and see something shiny and decide to play with that. In my short busy life, I have been an esthetician, a bartender, a box office attendent, a drive thru attendent, a cruise director, a bead stringer, a stationary creator, well, you get the point. Hubby is proud of coining the phrase: "Melicious loves to collect. She collects other people's hobbies and jobs.". He's right of course. It's a rare genetic form of career hoarding. I mean how embarrassing would it be if someone asked me a question I didn't have the answer to, or worse, wanted me to do a job I didn't know how to do. I might look stupid. The upside of course, I love learning. I hereby plant this flag as the Master of Being Jack of All Trades.
The love of learning is key to the actor's life, otherwise how would we know what you to do if we were supposed to act like a cop, a robber, or a pizza delivery guy- who's really an undercover cop. These are important questions. Learning is also the tether that keeps the writing ball in play. Being able to predict the outcomes of situations each different character finds themselves in. The characters are important and their lives are as different from each other as they are from my own. Imagination and learned information is the key to unlocking the stories of the fictional folks in Book Town. I mean stories would be pretty boring if the only character the writer knew how to write was themselves, unless of course it's an autobiography, in which case that's acceptable. This blog is mostly about me, but that's what blogs are all about. My writing and acting are all about others. And in most cases fake people. Learning how the world works and how people fit in as cogs in the grand scheme is a ticking coo-coo clock, waiting to chime the hour. And I always want to know what time it is.
The laser beam that has become my focus may start to burn right through my artistic obstacles which include but are not limited to: fear of failure, fear of success, regret and laziness. My brain is still jammed full of half baked ideas and schemes. But knowing that if I don't actually put the effort forward I have only myself and my distractions to blame. So, for now I am focused on becoming the next big thing in YA literature that goes mainstream. Turns into a billion dollar franchise, with a beloved series of movies and trademarked memorabilia. It's a cosmic goal, but I am aiming for the moon, hoping to end up amongst the stars. The passing fancies on the back burner have been simmering for a while, and I look forward to bringing some of those stew pots to the front burner and then eating my heart out. There are very important things that I still need to learn, but I will never lose my lust for consuming the knick knack info that sticks in this noggin and tickles my fancy. Those tidbits eventually become a part of my stories and the stories of Book Town. I am writing here and in aCloud to help us learn that fancy things come from passing along the information we've learnt. So, that's today's lesson. An apple for the teacher, if you please.
My Parents have done a great job of keeping me off the pole, until now. I was taught that the reputation is a lifetime to build and a moment to destroy. The road to a bad reputation is a quick and slippery one. But it can also be athletic, sweaty and a lot of fun.
Things I learned about pole dancing
1. Wedding rings and brass rails are natural enemies
2. The pole is slippery, wide and wet
3. The pole burns with the friction of a thousand suns
4. Just when you think you're spinning too fast you get stuck
5. Whiplash can be caused by an almost kinda sexy hair toss
6. Sexy arms are way harder than they look
7. It helps your dancing to keep your high heels on
8. Doing the robot isn't sexy
9. Either the boobs lead or the butt leads but never both
10. Leg warmers are cute and functional
11. Big steps=feet too far apart
12. Move slowly, at least then you don't have to fake as much sexy time
13. Watch your high kicks
13a. Watch where you're aiming those not so high kicks- they reach your classmate no prob
14. Poise-ture: it's an attitude thing
15. A smile distracts the watcher, even if you're wrapped around the pole like an origami snake
16. Furrowed brows aren't hot
17. I was tempted to have a Flashdance style ending to class- but the bucket of water is tough to rig and slippery to continue dancing
18. Public groping, short shorts and gyrating are encouraged but not automatic
19. Climbing the brass rail is new recruit hazing
20. Striptease class isn't about sex, it's about confidence
21. Bruises are expected and celebrated by these tough tight ladies
22. Six inches are starter heels
23. My body is sore and I love it.
I may not be ready for a 3 song night shift, but with a little practice I'll look forward to relinquishing the crown of world's worst dancer. And for that, I know my Momma will be proud, cuz we have the same dancing shoes.
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