Damnber is Thirty-bleep, and for her birthday, she was given the world’s best Handbag. I call it a Handbag, because it is not and could never be just a purse. This over sized shoulder bag holds within it everything a she (and on occasion I) needs. I can hear you say, “But Melicious, please explain”: Well, stop interrupting and let me explain. The leather is smooth, soft to the touch, but surprisingly resilient. Strong enough to tough out the cold F*Town winters, and light enough to carry through the TO summers.
There are 2 angled front zip pockets, and one horizontal back pocket. The soft leather zipper pulls invite you to open and explore all the untold wonders held within. These pockets contain from left to right: shiny, minty lip balm- to stimulate lips, strawberry lip salve- to soften, 2 nail files- a classic glass file in a protective sleeve and the world’s oldest, bald salon giveaway, Gum- most often mint patiently awaiting liberation from multiple blister packs (sometimes it has the added bonus of whitening), assorted receipts are also occasionally consigned to this fate, and don’t be surprised to find a few bandages or a lighter- as it always pays to be prepared for imminent injury and/or hypothermia. Inside this shoulder bag the mystery deepens. There are multiple divisions, segments and compartments. There are more than 6 secret slots, into which you can conceal plenty. A red journal, almost 50 pens, napkins. On occasion we can also find- a pair of oversized sunglasses, in an oversized protective case, a tiny green iPod shuffle, a shiny re-useable insulated metal water bottle, iPhone- white of course, headphones- also white and an oversized wallet. This oversized wallet is a gravitational cosmos within the handbag universe. A cacophony of membership cards, international cards for international accounts, credit cards, and usually at least $25 cash (which we pass around at every meal).
Though this Handbag isn't particularly distinctive, it is a constant creature comfort... But the real reason I am writing this Ode, is because this Micro-cosmos of femininity is an unfailing essence in our adventures. “She” is our emergency kit, toting all things we may require to maintain the semblance of these distinctive and dignified personas we’ve adopted. When together, we smile alike, walk alike, smell alike, and laugh alike. This handbag has developed a personality of it’s own, the silent watcher, absorbing our life journey. If only “she” could transcribe it, JOSH!! Though we may not be that far away from the day one of these secret pockets contains a sousveillance* device for either law enforcement or posterity reasons, documenting all the (potentially) incriminating but typically genius moments. All these wonders are contained within the soft leather of Damnber’s thirty-bleep birthday shoulder bag, the third girl on our couch, or at least on the floor within easy reach.
Bagged,
mm
*Sousveillance has also been described as "inverse surveillance", for more on this seemingly made up word check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousveillance
There are 2 angled front zip pockets, and one horizontal back pocket. The soft leather zipper pulls invite you to open and explore all the untold wonders held within. These pockets contain from left to right: shiny, minty lip balm- to stimulate lips, strawberry lip salve- to soften, 2 nail files- a classic glass file in a protective sleeve and the world’s oldest, bald salon giveaway, Gum- most often mint patiently awaiting liberation from multiple blister packs (sometimes it has the added bonus of whitening), assorted receipts are also occasionally consigned to this fate, and don’t be surprised to find a few bandages or a lighter- as it always pays to be prepared for imminent injury and/or hypothermia. Inside this shoulder bag the mystery deepens. There are multiple divisions, segments and compartments. There are more than 6 secret slots, into which you can conceal plenty. A red journal, almost 50 pens, napkins. On occasion we can also find- a pair of oversized sunglasses, in an oversized protective case, a tiny green iPod shuffle, a shiny re-useable insulated metal water bottle, iPhone- white of course, headphones- also white and an oversized wallet. This oversized wallet is a gravitational cosmos within the handbag universe. A cacophony of membership cards, international cards for international accounts, credit cards, and usually at least $25 cash (which we pass around at every meal).
Though this Handbag isn't particularly distinctive, it is a constant creature comfort... But the real reason I am writing this Ode, is because this Micro-cosmos of femininity is an unfailing essence in our adventures. “She” is our emergency kit, toting all things we may require to maintain the semblance of these distinctive and dignified personas we’ve adopted. When together, we smile alike, walk alike, smell alike, and laugh alike. This handbag has developed a personality of it’s own, the silent watcher, absorbing our life journey. If only “she” could transcribe it, JOSH!! Though we may not be that far away from the day one of these secret pockets contains a sousveillance* device for either law enforcement or posterity reasons, documenting all the (potentially) incriminating but typically genius moments. All these wonders are contained within the soft leather of Damnber’s thirty-bleep birthday shoulder bag, the third girl on our couch, or at least on the floor within easy reach.
Bagged,
mm
*Sousveillance has also been described as "inverse surveillance", for more on this seemingly made up word check out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sousveillance
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