Our veterinarian considers himself an animal-whisperer with magic hands that heal pets and a soothing voice- especially the Yoda, which I only know is Yoda because he told me. I on the other hand am convinced that when I am talking to the Doggie or Kitty something is lost in translation. Both animals stare at me disappointedly; like I phased out in the middle of our conversation and am no longer listening. It seems to me that at this point (4 years of being Jilly's Momma, and 5+ years of being Step-mother to Lucy) I would have become better than I am at understanding them. Our conversations are as follows:
The wake-up call
Jilly:(all four feet shuffle, nails clicking on the floor) whooo...
Melicious:(half-asleep) "Get on this bed."
Jilly:(emphatically, four foot stomp) Whoo...
Melicious:(groveling) "10 more mins."
Jilly: WHOOoooo!
Melicious:(throwing back the warm quilt) "Fine."
I trudge from the bedroom to the kitchen, take her food from the cupboard, dumping a cup into her bowl. Her nails clicker-clack on the floor, happy tap dancing. Stumbling back into bed, she will join me as soon as she's done for:
Under the covers
Jilly:(with a running leap, she launches herself into the bedroom and onto the bed with a jarring thump. Then she investigates the bed she just left to eat) sniff,sniff,sniff. Blow! Sniff,sniff sigh.
Melicious:(lifting up the blankets, trying to get back to sleep) "Under the covers, JillBean."
Jilly:(burrowing into the blankets, spinning and turning and stomping down invisible grass, until she's finally comfortable) Groan sigh. (pressing herself between mine or Hubby's legs- neither one of us sleeping anymore)
As the day goes on, there are many conversations that transpire as follows:
I don't know what you want
Jilly:(starring into my soul, head cocked, silently) whoo?
Melcious: "What's up JillBean?"
Jilly:(still starring, head cocked the other way) Whoo...?
Melicious: "What do you want?"
Jilly:(four foot stomp, with tip-tap nails) whoo...sigh.
Melicious: "I don't know what you want."
Hubby: "She wants a treat. Jilly want a treat?"
Melicious: "Of course she wants a treat. She always wants a treat. She's a dog."
Jilly:(head almost spinning off it's axis) Treat?!?! they said treat. I love treats.
Melicious: "I am not giving you a treat, you're so spoiled. Who's my barrel chested stinker?"
Jilly: (realizing I won't give her a treat; she stalks off in a huff. Settling down in her house and starring up at me with the world's best/worst puppy-dog eyes) Groan.
Melicious: "Okay, come get a treat." (I cave, but to balance it out, I give her a carrot inside a Kong; she'll have to work for that treat)
My puppa is a protective and stubborn girl. She stares out the huge windows. Being on the 4th floor she has a great view of passing animals and a strong opinion about who should and shouldn't be walking along the path between the buildings.
This is my house B*%#h!
Jilly:(starring out the window) rwow....
Melicious:(from the other room) "Jilly..."
Jilly:(ignoring me) Rwowooo roo! Get off my yard!
Melicious:(going into the other room) "JILLY!"
Jilly:(deflated) roooo...
Melicious: "Oh stop; nobody cares what you have to say."
Jilly:(curling back up on the bed) hoof. I just wanted to see if that shitzu wanted to come over and play.
Melicious: "That shitzu is a big B. Let's invite Kingston over (the beagle down the hall)."
Jilly: Snarf. He's no fun. He humps my face.
Melicious:(sitting on the bed and stroking her tummy) "How about we go to the park?"
Jilly: Snort, I thought you'd never ask. I can hump all faces I want at the leash free.
Melicious:(leaning down to raspberry JillBean's belly) "Who's the best bean?"
Jilly:(Head flopped over, upside down) Is it me? I think; yes.
This last conversation is my least favourite. It typically happens at the end of the night, when I am tired or want to go to bed early. Jilly can sense that weakness, and proceeds to drag me all over hell's half acre to find the perfect poo place.
Why won't you go poop?
Melicious:(shaking Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Can't hear you; sniffing
Melicious:(pulling Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Sensory overload, so many other dogs.
Melicious: "Go poos JillBean, you'll feel much better."
Jilly: Hey look, another dog right there. Doesn't he know I own this town? *insert dirt kicking and 1 bark
Melicious:(pulling her back towards the grass) "Focus on going poos. Then we can play with the 'nother dog."
Jilly: I don't care what you say, can't hear you, too many smells.
Melicious: "You'll feel much better if you go poos. Trust me Tinker."
Jilly: (finally finding the ideal spot will circle and scrunch herself in mock poo-position, only to pee again!)
Melicious: "Okay, you've made your choice." (dragging her back towards home)
Jilly:(four foot stop, all heels dug into the ground) wait, wait, I have to go poos.
Melicious: "Then go!"
Jilly: fine. (starring up at me while she does her business, which is awkward for us both)
I lean down and do my duty with her duty and we are on our merry way. So, maybe the conversations aren't as one sided as I thought. She just needs to use her words more. C'mon JillBean, you can do it. If you wanna be the best puppa, you gotta put your bark into it.
The wake-up call
Jilly:(all four feet shuffle, nails clicking on the floor) whooo...
Melicious:(half-asleep) "Get on this bed."
Jilly:(emphatically, four foot stomp) Whoo...
Melicious:(groveling) "10 more mins."
Jilly: WHOOoooo!
Melicious:(throwing back the warm quilt) "Fine."
I trudge from the bedroom to the kitchen, take her food from the cupboard, dumping a cup into her bowl. Her nails clicker-clack on the floor, happy tap dancing. Stumbling back into bed, she will join me as soon as she's done for:
Under the covers
Jilly:(with a running leap, she launches herself into the bedroom and onto the bed with a jarring thump. Then she investigates the bed she just left to eat) sniff,sniff,sniff. Blow! Sniff,sniff sigh.
Melicious:(lifting up the blankets, trying to get back to sleep) "Under the covers, JillBean."
Jilly:(burrowing into the blankets, spinning and turning and stomping down invisible grass, until she's finally comfortable) Groan sigh. (pressing herself between mine or Hubby's legs- neither one of us sleeping anymore)
As the day goes on, there are many conversations that transpire as follows:
I don't know what you want
Jilly:(starring into my soul, head cocked, silently) whoo?
Melcious: "What's up JillBean?"
Jilly:(still starring, head cocked the other way) Whoo...?
Melicious: "What do you want?"
Jilly:(four foot stomp, with tip-tap nails) whoo...sigh.
Melicious: "I don't know what you want."
Hubby: "She wants a treat. Jilly want a treat?"
Melicious: "Of course she wants a treat. She always wants a treat. She's a dog."
Jilly:(head almost spinning off it's axis) Treat?!?! they said treat. I love treats.
Melicious: "I am not giving you a treat, you're so spoiled. Who's my barrel chested stinker?"
Jilly: (realizing I won't give her a treat; she stalks off in a huff. Settling down in her house and starring up at me with the world's best/worst puppy-dog eyes) Groan.
Melicious: "Okay, come get a treat." (I cave, but to balance it out, I give her a carrot inside a Kong; she'll have to work for that treat)
My puppa is a protective and stubborn girl. She stares out the huge windows. Being on the 4th floor she has a great view of passing animals and a strong opinion about who should and shouldn't be walking along the path between the buildings.
This is my house B*%#h!
Jilly:(starring out the window) rwow....
Melicious:(from the other room) "Jilly..."
Jilly:(ignoring me) Rwowooo roo! Get off my yard!
Melicious:(going into the other room) "JILLY!"
Jilly:(deflated) roooo...
Melicious: "Oh stop; nobody cares what you have to say."
Jilly:(curling back up on the bed) hoof. I just wanted to see if that shitzu wanted to come over and play.
Melicious: "That shitzu is a big B. Let's invite Kingston over (the beagle down the hall)."
Jilly: Snarf. He's no fun. He humps my face.
Melicious:(sitting on the bed and stroking her tummy) "How about we go to the park?"
Jilly: Snort, I thought you'd never ask. I can hump all faces I want at the leash free.
Melicious:(leaning down to raspberry JillBean's belly) "Who's the best bean?"
Jilly:(Head flopped over, upside down) Is it me? I think; yes.
This last conversation is my least favourite. It typically happens at the end of the night, when I am tired or want to go to bed early. Jilly can sense that weakness, and proceeds to drag me all over hell's half acre to find the perfect poo place.
Why won't you go poop?
Melicious:(shaking Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Can't hear you; sniffing
Melicious:(pulling Jilly's chain) "Go poos JillBean."
Jilly: Sensory overload, so many other dogs.
Melicious: "Go poos JillBean, you'll feel much better."
Jilly: Hey look, another dog right there. Doesn't he know I own this town? *insert dirt kicking and 1 bark
Melicious:(pulling her back towards the grass) "Focus on going poos. Then we can play with the 'nother dog."
Jilly: I don't care what you say, can't hear you, too many smells.
Melicious: "You'll feel much better if you go poos. Trust me Tinker."
Jilly: (finally finding the ideal spot will circle and scrunch herself in mock poo-position, only to pee again!)
Melicious: "Okay, you've made your choice." (dragging her back towards home)
Jilly:(four foot stop, all heels dug into the ground) wait, wait, I have to go poos.
Melicious: "Then go!"
Jilly: fine. (starring up at me while she does her business, which is awkward for us both)
I lean down and do my duty with her duty and we are on our merry way. So, maybe the conversations aren't as one sided as I thought. She just needs to use her words more. C'mon JillBean, you can do it. If you wanna be the best puppa, you gotta put your bark into it.
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