It takes a village...but this is Toronto

4/17/2012

1 Comment

 
  My first toronto friend just had a baby. Now, I don't mean the first baby a friend of mine had since I've lived in Toronto. I mean my first friend living in Toronto had a baby. I have friends back home who have had babies. But they live in the country, where babies come from. The safe, quiet, boring country where Ontario has raised it's children for generations.  A cabbage patch of children waiting with eager storks. And it's also not my first friend who's lived in near the city with kids. She's a friend I met in Toronto, living here now with a newborn.  And it stresses me out. I ran away from the country, I ran away to the circus. I came to the big city- and so did she and now she has a baby. I don't mean she had a baby frivolously, but now there's a baby that has become part of my village.  And it scares the crap out of me.  How can I possibly be a good example for teeny V?
   I want to be a sweet Aunt, a sister her mother doesn't have (or want?).  I don't know how to do it though. Don't get me wrong- Chillins luv me*insert gangster swagger, but I am a novelty.  I am fun for an afternoon of adults acting like kids.  I am great for forts and ghost stories and roasted marshmallows and sledding ...It's the day to day I worry about.  My hubby and I are going to be part of that little baby's life; at parties, at weddings, big life events- we're friends with this baby's parents in a close and important way. But now...there's a baby in this circus.  CIRCUS LOUD SPEAKER ANNOUNCEMENT: There's a baby here, there's a little, tiny, reliant life form that you love and have to help take care of!!! 
  When I met hubby, his friend's kids were already 3ish- except Little L and he arrived shortly after Hubby and I started dating.  Though he was "still single" and didn't get invited to the baby stuff.  I, on the other hand, have been to baby showers and 1st birthday parties all over Ontario, but I was the quirky girl who never gave the right thing (even though I always shopped from the baby registry*insert sigh)...But there hasn't really been kids around us. Well, maybe just 3 Special K's, and that's only within the last 8 months. (3 Special K's: One who looks like me, one who acts like me and one who looks like she will act like me)
  Hubby and I often discuss having babies, 'cuz let's be honest they would be cute, warped, but cute:)  Our opinion shifts with the wind. Taking into account:  The world being so full of people- most of them a*holes... The environment, our personal lives, our jobs and our all around selfish behaviour.  Through last week's disasters of caring for the dog with the bum surgery and living in a flooded building, I gotta tell ya- having a kid would have been rough... and even when all those mini disasters settled down life would continue to be tough, 'cuz you're somebody's mother. And that never ends.
  Oh as for calling myself a juggernaut, I am nothing compared to this brand new baby Momma- her life truly is incomparable.  This very special momma truly will not (or cannot) be stopped! But I hope she gets a nice long sleep tonight and can dish (preferably Hummus) with Melicious real soon.  

PS Mama- I hear your toes, gently tapping- rap, rap, rapping on our bedroom door.  You were born to be a Grandma :) and who am I to disappoint?  Can we just wait 'til this writing things pays the bills?*insert puppy eyes
1 Comment

First world problems

3/28/2012

0 Comments

 
  Looking at my demographics on google analytics (a complicated algorithm I am slowly, very slowly learning to read), I am now aware that most of you live in Toronto, unless we're related and you live in Fergus or St. Thomas.  As most of my readers- or at least clickers are from Canada, and Ontario specifically, I thought it appropriate to make a list of First world problems I have had.  But first, what's a first world problem you ask? Oh darling, please believe me when I say they aren't really problems at all, mostly slight inconveniences that I have experienced or thought about, that if they were the worst thing that happened to you in a less civilized country, you would consider yourself lucky.
  • In a rush and I get the one cabbie who doesn't break the law
  • 10,000 remotes and I still can't turn anything on
  • I assumed the clocks at my new house were set 10 mins fast like my old house now I am just on time
  • I spent the first snooze worrying about my alarm wouldn't go off, snooze 2 & 3 were much more relaxing 
  • WFT You screwed up nachos!?!?
  • These poo bags aren't scented
  •  I decided to wear my good leggings- but I'm worried I'll ruin them
  • How many opportunities can I miss without a 3G connection 
  • Canine anal bleaching?
  • I am going to start calling myself Slim, and hope that it catches on
  • Does chewing gum for 20 mins or eating Mint Areo count as brushing your teeth?
  • My neighbour and his dog both got hair cuts this week. And now look the same. And I said so.
  • Why do things that look stupid alone look amazing in pairs?
  As you can see, none of these are really problems.  But for some reason or another I worried about them.  Though if you've ever had screwed up nachos, you know what I mean, it can ruin your whole week...If you let it.  SO, what's the point? Well, the point is, I am very lucky, you are very lucky, let's not sweat the small stuff and we'll all go have a drink somewhere with GREAT nachos.
0 Comments

Selling Toronto

3/27/2012

0 Comments

 
 Do you know how often I think about how lucky I am to live in Toronto? I Effing love this city.  I mean it's getting out of control how much I love this city. I love the waterfront and Queen street and the CN tower and I love the film community. I love it. That being said... There are a few things I would change given the option. 

1. This construction, I mean did we have to plan every digging, drilling, laying & maintenance project at once? We must have hired in all of the Ontario labour board employees, it is truly remarkable that those skilled labour ads for apprenticeships are working.

2. The cuts to our essential services.  Like street sweeping and garbage pick up.  And sweeping up garbage from the streets.  Our neighbourhood is littered (literally) with mix matched minutia of city life including but not limited to coffee cups, free flyers, dog pooh and a lonely shoe, seeking his missing mate.

3. TTC. Oh Red Rocket, you shiny and often disillusioning commuter car.  Filled with the odds and bobs of this city, people who are trying to convince themselves that taking TTC is good for the environment, or faster than driving, or any number of bogus reasons to keep riding this slow, unreliable and often sticky and smelly lumbering giant.  But the truth of the matter is, it's way cheaper than a car + you can read while driving (or in my case write)

4.  Parking is another issue.  With one-way streets, side roads and parallel spots keeping unskilled drivers circling, it is a nightmare, especially with snow removal hours, side-switching for road cleaning and bad drivers becoming bad parkers- taking up two or more spots.  Also fire hydrants every 10 feet because of the occupancy regulations, which is great to prevent fires but not so helpful for people wanting to park closer to the venue.  
5.  Smile:) Turn that frown upside down! Everyone can do it, with the exception of a few with facial muscle disorders- sorry.  But a smile can really change your day.  Smiling actually helps you feel better about yourself, and feeling better about yourself is a good start to feeling better about the rest us:)

6. People puking on the side of the road, in front of the bank, at the corner of my building, the front steps of the bar and all over themselves.  And not just the action of seeing someone puke, but the remnants of pukes past.  Please go to the loo if you think you might loose your lunch, it's really the least you could do.  Well, the least you could do would actually be if you didn't eat a whole bunch of crazy coloured food before drinking yourself stupid and losing it all over the sidewalk.
 
  I love this city and I know it loves me too.  I am 10 years into this love affair and it doesn't seem to be going away, it's only getting stronger.  The little villages that make up this metropolis.  The way people feel when they get here.  This city is world class, she just happens to be more interested in socializing than grades.
0 Comments
Forward>>