Shall we disgust the topic of Morbid Obesity? Yes, I think we shall. Where to begin?
The morbidly obese of the world are a sensory overload, with bodies that look like a train wreck, smell so strongly like a rotten Iron Chef episode you can taste it, the laborious wheezing after any kind of physical activity, the touch of their sweaty chocolate coated hands leaving marks on handrails and my sixth sense telling me that I don't think the human body was designed to carry that much extra, we could call it fat, but I think I'll just call it human jellyroll filling, cause it's the same gooey red stuff.
Now, all grossness aside, I don't understand how Really Really fat people, people who would benefit from walking or even standing get a motorized scooter. That's like saying "Well Jackie boy, you made a lot of bad decisions, ate yourself into a new handicap parking space, a shiny set of wheels, and you've developed type 2 Diabetes because you drink modified corn sirop. Congratulations!" Cue the confetti, marching band and balloons, oh wait this isn't a celebration it's an abomination. Attn: Scooter riders going the posted street speed limit on the sidewalk is not acceptable, heaven forbid I be strolling, as they pass me, shrieking for to "get out of the way" or "move it". It would have been great to have some of that need for speed before they became an angry scooter-bound manic. I think these scooters of the dumpy-damned should be calibrated to travel no faster than a brisk walking pace, agreed? That would make sense, unless, as a motorized vehicle they should be on the road... Oh, it's almost Darwinian* insert greedy hand rubbing
And since when did being a jerk become a prerequisite to being beyond fat? I mean it used to be called pleasantly plump for crying out loud. What happened to all the sweet super-fatties, who used to compensate for their outward appearance with their inner beauty? (Science debates inner beauty as a non-quantifiable entity) Of all the world's dying breeds, I miss the pleasantly plump the most. They were a group I once counted myself in, but there are too many reflective surfaces in this city and I am a dedicated student of vanity. Although I wouldn't mind a free scooter and I love jellyrolls...it's food for thought.
The morbidly obese of the world are a sensory overload, with bodies that look like a train wreck, smell so strongly like a rotten Iron Chef episode you can taste it, the laborious wheezing after any kind of physical activity, the touch of their sweaty chocolate coated hands leaving marks on handrails and my sixth sense telling me that I don't think the human body was designed to carry that much extra, we could call it fat, but I think I'll just call it human jellyroll filling, cause it's the same gooey red stuff.
Now, all grossness aside, I don't understand how Really Really fat people, people who would benefit from walking or even standing get a motorized scooter. That's like saying "Well Jackie boy, you made a lot of bad decisions, ate yourself into a new handicap parking space, a shiny set of wheels, and you've developed type 2 Diabetes because you drink modified corn sirop. Congratulations!" Cue the confetti, marching band and balloons, oh wait this isn't a celebration it's an abomination. Attn: Scooter riders going the posted street speed limit on the sidewalk is not acceptable, heaven forbid I be strolling, as they pass me, shrieking for to "get out of the way" or "move it". It would have been great to have some of that need for speed before they became an angry scooter-bound manic. I think these scooters of the dumpy-damned should be calibrated to travel no faster than a brisk walking pace, agreed? That would make sense, unless, as a motorized vehicle they should be on the road... Oh, it's almost Darwinian* insert greedy hand rubbing
And since when did being a jerk become a prerequisite to being beyond fat? I mean it used to be called pleasantly plump for crying out loud. What happened to all the sweet super-fatties, who used to compensate for their outward appearance with their inner beauty? (Science debates inner beauty as a non-quantifiable entity) Of all the world's dying breeds, I miss the pleasantly plump the most. They were a group I once counted myself in, but there are too many reflective surfaces in this city and I am a dedicated student of vanity. Although I wouldn't mind a free scooter and I love jellyrolls...it's food for thought.
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