Yesterday was my last day working in 1860. The set is slated to be stored, the props are going back to the warehouse of antiquities they came from. The work that I am in love with is over. And yesterday I broke my dental epoxy into a razor sharp crevasse that I can't keep my tongue off. It is a feeling I can only describe as: The worst! When I am concerned that I am falling apart. It must be time to move on. It's my last day with a group of people I met and flattered and swindled into giving me a job. Now, I am distracted by the tongue magnet stuck to the pokey bit in my mouth. I am not saying goodbyes, and I should before drinking at the wrap party. Which for those who don't know is a giant party for everyone who worked on a film or tv show. One last hurrah with the dream team the producers created- and was built from top to bottom. We worked together, personality conflicts and all. We made a tv show. That's awesome. Most of the people on this set are wicked. I mean, they are awesome sauce, and my tongue was too tied up with my broken dental epoxy to tell them.
When I got home last night at the charming hour of 2 am on my last day; I thought I would have been overwhelmed by a feeling of accomplishment. Thought there would be something checked off my list. At least I should feel great, and all I can say is: Well, that was anti-climatic. And then my brain pipes up: Why shouldn't it be? It's just 3 months. And a bunch of new friends. That's just how it works. Three months of spending 5 days a week, 13 hours a day with a group of people. Then you go your separate ways and hope to run into them in the near future. Well, most of them. Some you wonder if they will stick to their guns and actually "get out of this business because it's killing them". I hope that if you want out, you get out. I don't want out- I want deeper in.
The great thing about this is I am going from 1860 to 1900. Not a huge stretch. On Tuesday I will start with a new crew, on a new set. I have to make friends with a new work partner in a new place. I have to get to know them all over again. I just did all that work*insert foot stomp. I was starting to not have to hold back. I was starting to belong to that team as me- myself- almost no filter. Just a back up filter, just in case. I forget that I have to make a new first impression. I hope I come off as likeable as I did last time. My last first impression was wicked- if I do say so myself. It's hard to make new friends, with new jokes and find the people on a new set that will let me go -almost- filterless. So, as one might guess the nerves are thrumming. The tension is mid-range. But I hope to have a new ritual, make each day a bit easier with a little planning. Also, so much studio time means that I will be able to build a nest for myself. A nook where there is a book, a band and a bite to eat. A safe place. So, if you're ever in the past, keep an eye out for me, I will be lurking near by.
As for finishing up this show; I guess the wrap party will be have to be a place for thank you's and awkward hugs. Saying I hope to work with you on Season 2, and actually meaning it most of the time. The best thing about yesterday? Hmmm, oh yea the producer bought my dinner. A fancy and delicious Italian dinner. So it's not all bad. But if I had known he was paying I would have had the lobster.
When I got home last night at the charming hour of 2 am on my last day; I thought I would have been overwhelmed by a feeling of accomplishment. Thought there would be something checked off my list. At least I should feel great, and all I can say is: Well, that was anti-climatic. And then my brain pipes up: Why shouldn't it be? It's just 3 months. And a bunch of new friends. That's just how it works. Three months of spending 5 days a week, 13 hours a day with a group of people. Then you go your separate ways and hope to run into them in the near future. Well, most of them. Some you wonder if they will stick to their guns and actually "get out of this business because it's killing them". I hope that if you want out, you get out. I don't want out- I want deeper in.
The great thing about this is I am going from 1860 to 1900. Not a huge stretch. On Tuesday I will start with a new crew, on a new set. I have to make friends with a new work partner in a new place. I have to get to know them all over again. I just did all that work*insert foot stomp. I was starting to not have to hold back. I was starting to belong to that team as me- myself- almost no filter. Just a back up filter, just in case. I forget that I have to make a new first impression. I hope I come off as likeable as I did last time. My last first impression was wicked- if I do say so myself. It's hard to make new friends, with new jokes and find the people on a new set that will let me go -almost- filterless. So, as one might guess the nerves are thrumming. The tension is mid-range. But I hope to have a new ritual, make each day a bit easier with a little planning. Also, so much studio time means that I will be able to build a nest for myself. A nook where there is a book, a band and a bite to eat. A safe place. So, if you're ever in the past, keep an eye out for me, I will be lurking near by.
As for finishing up this show; I guess the wrap party will be have to be a place for thank you's and awkward hugs. Saying I hope to work with you on Season 2, and actually meaning it most of the time. The best thing about yesterday? Hmmm, oh yea the producer bought my dinner. A fancy and delicious Italian dinner. So it's not all bad. But if I had known he was paying I would have had the lobster.
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