What can you do when someone doesn't like you? What do you mean we aren't friends? Somebody doesn't like me. Can you believe that? I couldn't. Oh all the things I have thought. I have been trying to convince myself that its not my fault. But it still seems like I should do something about it. So this is my plan:
1. Flattery- compliments, clothing, haircuts, personal aroma etc.
2. Showering them with smiles that I create in my eyes and cautiously pander towards them as though sharing a secret
3. Paying attention to each and every word they are saying, nodding and smiling with understanding.
4. Inquiring about family and pretending to be interested
5. Compliment- did I say that already?
6. Confess a seemingly personal fact about myself. As though confiding in them, creating a sense of intimacy.
7. Laugh at their jokes- especially bad ones.
8. Winking, though should only be used with pointed clarity -as a limited resource.
9. Sing to them, sweet things to them.
Trying to put their name into the lyrics as a subliminal coersion.
10. Offer them things- things from my purse, or that I have at home. Second hand impromptu gifts are highly underrated.
On the Melicious side:
11. Point out the flaws of the people they do like to make yourself look better.
12. Try to turn other people against them. So you are their only friend option.
13. Commiserate with people who don't
like them and try to get the dirt to be used against them at a later date.
14. Cry.
15. Spread a rumour, causing all the rest of your mutual acquaintances to dislike them, thus alleviating the need to worry about ever seeing them again.
With a plan this elaborate and enticing I think more people might pretend they don't like me, just to get this limited edition 'please like me' bonus package minus the Melicious-ness. But it's strange. I like being liked. And I am working hard trying to create a perfect me to be liked by him. Shame. If all theses tactics fail I should start tweeting bad things about them and hope that it gets picked up and made into a sub-par book and poorly rated television show. But you like me. You really really like me?
1. Flattery- compliments, clothing, haircuts, personal aroma etc.
2. Showering them with smiles that I create in my eyes and cautiously pander towards them as though sharing a secret
3. Paying attention to each and every word they are saying, nodding and smiling with understanding.
4. Inquiring about family and pretending to be interested
5. Compliment- did I say that already?
6. Confess a seemingly personal fact about myself. As though confiding in them, creating a sense of intimacy.
7. Laugh at their jokes- especially bad ones.
8. Winking, though should only be used with pointed clarity -as a limited resource.
9. Sing to them, sweet things to them.
Trying to put their name into the lyrics as a subliminal coersion.
10. Offer them things- things from my purse, or that I have at home. Second hand impromptu gifts are highly underrated.
On the Melicious side:
11. Point out the flaws of the people they do like to make yourself look better.
12. Try to turn other people against them. So you are their only friend option.
13. Commiserate with people who don't
like them and try to get the dirt to be used against them at a later date.
14. Cry.
15. Spread a rumour, causing all the rest of your mutual acquaintances to dislike them, thus alleviating the need to worry about ever seeing them again.
With a plan this elaborate and enticing I think more people might pretend they don't like me, just to get this limited edition 'please like me' bonus package minus the Melicious-ness. But it's strange. I like being liked. And I am working hard trying to create a perfect me to be liked by him. Shame. If all theses tactics fail I should start tweeting bad things about them and hope that it gets picked up and made into a sub-par book and poorly rated television show. But you like me. You really really like me?
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